


Color Me Breathless

by dorkpatroller



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: A little angst, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Canon, Slow Burn, leoniles - Freeform, sloooowwww, soulmates who see in color when they meet, we can't do that, we should be looooveerrrssss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-06-01 03:16:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15133901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkpatroller/pseuds/dorkpatroller
Summary: The first time they met Niles assumed he was going to be killed. He wanted to be killed. But he looked into Leo's eyes and he saw a color, and Leo spared him....Something strange is going on in Castle Krakenburg and Niles is determined to find out. He's never truly had a purpose before Leo, and he's not going to let anything or anyone put him in danger.





	1. Chapter 1

_ “I am not in love with you.”  _

Zero’s knees scrape against the concrete floor when he’s forced to kneel. Behind his back, his arms are bound up just tight enough that his fingertips feel numb. There’s a new, jagged rip in his already-worse-for-the-wear clothes where he tried to slip free from the guard who caught him. He’s got a new, throbbing bruise on his face where the guard won that little argument. 

Half an hour ago Zero became a scapegoat. During a piss-poor attempt to break into the castle he and the other thieves in his guild were caught. They left him there, for dead. They aren’t wrong; he did make for a nice distraction while they escaped. Friendship isn’t real, anyway. Zero knows that. Nothing good ever lasts.

Unsurprisingly when they capture him they lead Zero to someplace awful. Down some stairs and around a corner, he’s welcomed into a dungeon. He does  _ not  _ want to live out his days in a dungeon. They stop in an open, round room that smells slightly like mildew and overwhelmingly like old blood. He’s met with the young man who will determine his fate. He faces judgment at the hands of Prince Leo of Nohr. Zero has heard of Leo before, of course. He’s heartless. Just like the rest of the royal family, he is without compassion or mercy. For just a moment Zero wonders if his lack of mercy will be what spares him from a life in a dungeon. Maybe he will be just cruel enough to call for Zero’s death and end it all. An execution would be an interesting way to go… And going would be preferable to slowly rotting until he melts into the dirty scenery down here.

Zero doesn’t properly see Leo at first. It’s like he appears from the shadows and suddenly the room belongs to him. He’s there and he’s commanding attention, but he’s just a kid. A teenager. Aren’t there any adults here in Windmire better suited to be calling for death? He’s dressed in pearly black armor and he looks as gloomy as any other soldier in this damned castle. Leo is just another figure in the dull landscape. That is, until he looks at Zero.

When their eyes meet for the first time the entire world changes. It’s  _ not  _ as if his heart stops beating in his chest, though Zero does feel momentarily breathless. The sky isn’t filled with fireworks and the smelly dungeon doesn’t become a ballroom decorated with cut flowers. It’s just that, when Prince Leo’s eyes settle on Zero’s, they’re brown. 

They’re a rich, warm brown. There’s no denying it. They’re not one of the million shades of grey that Zero is familiar with. They have  _ color  _ to them. For the first time in his entire, broken life Zero can see a color. Maybe it’s a gentle parting gift from this world. Maybe he can keep the memory of that one, new, incredible color close to his heart even in death.

“Guards,” Leo speaks up. It feels abrupt. Was he talking before? Zero wasn’t listening. But Leo  doesn’t break eye contact with Zero the whole while he says, “Leave us.” There’s a small murmur from the concerned soldiers. Zero can practically hear them thinking it over. Leave the youngest prince with a filthy thief? No doubt a bad decision. But they don’t leave the room fast enough for Leo’s liking. “I said leave.” 

They leave. Ah, that’s surprising. This little prince holds more authority than he realized, for trained guards to leave their posts at simply because he raised his voice a touch. It’s surprising, but it hardly benefits Zero at all. He’s been trying to slip out of these bindings since he was put into them. He can’t. Not this time. Even without a guard behind him to make sure he doesn’t get free, he won’t be able to escape. Zero turns his head to watch the last guard slip out of the little cell they’re in. That’s until Leo’s voice calls his attention back to his eyes. They’re still brown. That wasn’t a dream; Leo’s eyes are in color.  _ Wow _ , his eyes. In fact, now that he thinks about it Zero is fairly certain the layer of grey that made up the color of his skin is smoothing into something less dull. Or maybe that’s just his imagination.

“The penalty for treason is death. Can you explain to me why you were in this castle, today? I would hear your excuses now.” Prince Leo is bold. Zero can tell already. He’s obviously stronger than his age lets on. He’s surely not yet eighteen, but he stares at Zero like he’s unafraid of anything this world could throw at him. Is that just a ruse? Hard to tell, but Zero believes he is unafraid. 

His hair is still in shades of grey, but it’s light. Not quite as light as Zero’s. It falls down and frames his face in a way that would almost seem gentle if he weren’t standing here threatening to kill a man. 

And Zero has no excuses to give him. He doesn’t intend to excuse himself. He would far prefer death to imprisonment, and it seems as if he’s going to be granted that wish. “If  _ you were _ looking for something worth stealing, wouldn’t you try a castle?” His voice is dripping with venom. Leo hasn’t wronged him personally by any means, but he’s part of the family that has wronged the whole country. He’s part of the upper class of people who will sit at home warm and clothed and with full bellies and watch while everyone else starves. And then they have the nerve to be offended when anyone tries to get their hands on even a fraction of what belongs to them. 

Leo doesn’t remotely flinch. It’s a shame; Zero might have liked to see it. But then again, that might make him close his eyes… and what does it mean that his eyes are brown? Somewhere rooted deep in his shattered memories Zero is quite certain he heard a story of colors and what they are and what it means to see them… but retaining memories for long is hard. That part of him, like most of him, is broken. It’s something he would prefer not to fix. Sparing himself the past is an easy way to cope with it. He considers himself fortunate in that way.

“You won’t feign ignorance? Claim that you had nothing to do with it, that those men who escaped left you here against your will?” Leo clicks his tongue. “It’s almost as if you  _ wanted to _ die today.” 

“I do.” Zero isn’t sure why he says that out loud. He’s far more likely to get his way if he doesn’t make it seem like Leo is granting him a wish by killing him. The  _ last thing _ he wants is for Leo to change his mind and decide a slow, miserable death in this dungeon is more suited to his crimes. 

He’s not sure why he says he wants to die out loud, but he  _ is sure _ that Leo’s eyes turn soft. There’s a shift in his expression as it melts from authority and anger into a simpler curiosity. 

“Pardon me?” He asks. 

Does he want Zero to repeat it? “Kill me. Please kill me.” Zero has taken pleasure in making men beg before. Not always for their life, but often to spare them from pain. He wonders if hearing  _ him beg _ will bring even an ounce of pleasure to this prince. He’s supposed to be heartless… but heartless men seldom hesitate. 

Would Zero prefer his death bring pleasure to the young prince, or for it to feel meaningless and empty?

Leo’s eyes narrow again, but this time it’s still so obviously curiosity that it’s almost amusing. Zero keeps his lips drawn in a straight line and keeps his eyes glued to Leo’s like he’s trapped there, but he wonders if admitting what he wants… was a mistake. It wouldn’t be his first mistake today. Leo folds his arms across his chest. “Why.” Leo doesn’t ask it as a question. It’s a demand. 

Zero finally looks away from his eyes. He can’t look any longer. They’re expressive and the most unfairly wonderful thing he’s ever seen in his miserable life. Brown eyes Who knew that a color so simple would be the most beautiful thing Niles had ever seen?

He decides to focus on the dirty floor while he says, “Throw me to the streets to be killed or leave me in this dungeon to rot, but if I had my choice I would have you put me out of my damned misery. There’s no purpose for me left in this life. There never was. The world will be a better place without me in it.” 

Leo’s lips press into a tight, straight line. His brows knit together. Maybe he’s considering what to do. Obviously, he thought that killing Zero would be a suitable punishment, but now he's reconsidering. It's clear by his hesitation. Zero has laid out, he believes, all three options: Kill him, exile him, imprison him.

All at once Leo is close to him. Uncomfortably close. He crouches in front of Zero and he squeezes his jaw painfully between his fingers. It forces their eyes to connect again. This time so much closer… Zero can see every shade of brown. Lighter speckles in Leo’s eyes, warmer closer to his pupils. He tilts Zero’s face. Slowly. Judging him.

“If you have no other purpose in life then I will give you one.” 

“Wh--,” Alarms sound in Zero’s head.

“Quiet,” Leo demands silence and Zero is in no position to deny him that. “I intend to spare your life today. From now on you will work under me as a retainer, and if you still think your life has no purpose in a year then you may do as you wish.” 

No! Zero doesn’t want to  _ work in the castle _ . He hates these people. He hates this lifestyle. He hates this family. He opens his mouth to protest and Leo hushes him before he even can.

“I said quiet. You don’t have a say in the matter. If you did it wouldn’t be a punishment, would it?” The prince glances towards the doors. Then back into Zero’s eyes. Gods, Zero wishes he would stop doing that. It sends a jolt through his chest every time their eyes lock together. 

“Allow me to make one thing  _ perfectly clear _ ,” Leo goes on to say, “I am not in love with you.” He lets go of Zero’s jaw and gets back to his feet. “You are not to breathe a word about what happened between us today. That your eyes are in color doesn’t change anything. You will be a servant, you will follow orders, and under no circumstances will you tell anyone that you’re my  _ soulmate _ . Understood?” 

Soulmate. The word echoes in Zero’s brain longer than it’s meant to. Now that Leo put a name to it, some of those memories come back. He can recall being a young boy and being told that there is one person in the world you are meant to stand beside. That person will show you color and happiness and love. Not everyone finds their soulmate, but everyone has one. Somewhere. 

“Yes,” He croaks before he can think. He’s agreed to the terms before he can remind himself that he absolutely hates it here. Maybe entirely because Leo’s fingertips bruising into his jaw feel a whole lot like butterflies filling up his lungs. There’s something downright unnatural about this man. Leo stands back up. 

“Good. What is your name?” 

“I’ve been called Zero,” he answers. This would almost be funny if he wasn’t so shocked. Has he really agreed to work for the royal family? He'd do better just to kill  _ himself _ . But then he thinks about the color of Leo’s eyes again. He thinks about the word  _ soulmate again _ . That voice in the back of his memories. 

_ There is one person in the world you are meant to stand beside. _ He’s meant to stand beside the prince of Nohr? He’s not sure what being a soulmate means. Obviously, from what Leo has said, some soulmates are lovers. They won’t be. That’s fine. Zero has never entertained the idea that he deserves to be loved. He has no tolerance for the royal family or even the upper class. He simply doesn’t understand. 

Maybe he never will. 

"Zero isn't a name," Prince Leo says. "I'll find a name more suitable for you. As my retainer, you'll report directly to me. You will need new clothes, a bath… and what is this?” He reaches out and nearly brushes his fingers over the dirty bandages covering Zero’s right eye. 

“Don’t!” He can’t move his arms but Zero flinches away with enough force that Leo seems to understand. He clears his throat. 

“I believe I can find you something more suitable for that as well.”

…

Leo chooses the name ‘Niles’. Zero thinks that’s a stupid name. It sounds more suited to some prissy noble than to a measly thief. He says as much. Working around the castle is absurd, but a butler shows him around and teaches him how to prepare tea. He tells him how to get breakfast for Prince Leo, shows him how to carry the tray. 

Zero has his own quarters, and in the long, cold nights that follow he realizes that this isn’t a dream. This man really and truly thinks that Zero should be his servant. Maybe that makes it more like a nightmare. He could run away. He could slip out his window and into the night and never be seen or heard from again… He’s considered it more than once, but every time he thinks he’s going to his chest tightens up. He owes that prince something. He owes him this life of his, and he owes it to him to carry out this agreement. A year is a long time to wait, but he’s certain before that year is up Leo will cast him out anyway. 

On that afternoon he sets a tray down on a small table in Leo’s chambers. After a handful of weeks of practice… he’s finding he’s got a talent for knowing how long to steep the tea. The tray clatters somewhat when he places it, but Leo doesn’t look up from the book he’s studying. His hair is… calm. On the day that they met more shades of brown filtered into Zero’s vision. The color of Leo’s eyes, but also the color of the earth and of wood. Then, a couple of weeks later, Zero began to see a new color: yellow. The color of starlight and sunlight and, as it so happens, Leo’s hair.

“What exactly do you hope to gain by having a lowlife as your retainer?” he asks, rather abruptly. 

Leo doesn’t seem half as bothered by that as he does Zero’s etiquette. “You should address me by my title, Niles.” 

Zero rolls his eye. “What exactly do you hope to gain by having a lowlife as your retainer  _ Lord Leo _ ?” 

Leo closes his book with an angry clap of its pages. Zero can hear in his voice he’s a touch irritated by the question. He’s been called selfish. Zero supposes that implication couldn’t be helped… considering there can be no other explanation. “I stand to gain nothing but a loyal retainer,” he says anyway.

Loyal. Zero wonders if he can be considered as much. The only reason he hasn’t left this bleak castle already is that he feels like he owes Leo something. That and, he’s half certain, Leo might track him down and drag him back here if he does.  But there’s just no rational explanation for why Leo came to his decision to hire him. He can find a loyal servant anywhere. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll kill you?” Zero asks. 

Leo stares at him. There’s some unearthly magic in the way their eyes lock there on each other. Something that feels like a brick being pulled out of the intricately built walls that surround Zero’s fragile heart and mind. Just one brick. Leo’s eyes are that same rich brown they were the day they met. Regrettably, Zero still gets butterflies beating belligerently in his chest when they’re so focused on him. 

He wishes they would buzz off. Soulmates or not, Zero has a million other priorities. Like watching the complete, calm confidence on Leo’s face when he says “No. I am not afraid of you.”

Zero just doesn’t understand why. He doesn’t get to wonder for very long; Leo clearly had something of his own he wanted to talk about today. “My father has asked me to deliver a message for him.” 

“What message?” He asks. Delivering a message sounds interesting. Leaving this castle sounds interesting. Zero feels like he hasn’t stretched his legs in weeks. Unfortunately for him, there’s less gossip to be shared over this tea. Leo shakes his head from side to side instead of answering. 

"I haven't the faintest," Leo mutters. He sits down to his tea, brings it to his lips. It would be easy to poison him. He clearly has some trust in Zero already, and it’s absurd. What if he were a man willing to stoop to that? But he isn’t, and Leo’s tea isn’t laced with anything except chamomile.

“Obviously you’ll be escorting me,” Leo says. “Do you have a weapon you prefer? I recall they took a bow from you when you first arrived. I believe they discarded it, but we can equip you with something in better condition. I don’t anticipate any real trouble, but I would prefer you to be armed.” 

Oh. Escorting Leo and protecting him in his travels seems like the sort of thing a retainer would do, but Zero  _ isn’t  _ really a retainer. This is just a charade until Leo gets bored of him. Zero is certain of that. Taking him out on this mission, while a good excuse to get fresh air, isn’t in his best interest. Nothing about Zero is in Leo’s best interest. Then again, no one in this castle trusts him. If he stayed here without Leo to ‘protect’ him he’s certain that  _ someone would _ have him killed. "I can shoot," he says. 

…

Brown and yellow. Those are the colors that stay with Zero. Oftentimes he thinks he can see something more, something tugging at the edges of his vision. When he turns his head and tries to focus in on it, it fades to grey. Leo doesn’t mention if he can see any other colors. He doesn’t mention anything on the subject of soulmates. It’s for the better that way. 

Zero is still curious about it. He told him on the day he spared him that he saw Zero’s eyes in color, but when he looks into a mirror Zero’s eyes still look grey to him. That means Leo is seeing different colors than he is. Fascinating, but there’s not much more he can learn on the subject. He doesn’t dare ask Leo about it, and even if he could it’s not as if he could describe the colors. Zero could never even imagine them.

When they met and Zero first saw the color of Leo’s eyes he thought it might happen quickly. Suddenly there would be color in his world. But now so much time has passed and there are only two shades. He’s certain more exist, he’s certain because so much of his world is still in shades of grey. But now parts of it are a soft sepia, and he’s thankful for that. 

Brown and yellow are the colors he can see, and they're making this forest feel like a blur. Every trunk is dark and brown. The mud, the swamp. Dandelions that somehow managed to grow in the shadow of the trees and some mushrooms with unappealing spots on them, suddenly they distract his vision by being extraordinary. They make it hard to focus. The colors clouding his vision are overwhelming. 

Traveling through the forest was entirely unnecessary. Zero and Leo intended to cross a bridge that would easily take them into the city that Leo’s father sent them to within a few hours. The bridge, when they arrived, was in ruin. So Leo suggested they go around through the small forest. There is a path around the small gorge there.

“You can’t really believe that bridge was downed by happenstance, can you?” Zero won’t believe it. He knows nothing of the royal family or its enemies but he knows that those ropes were cut cleanly. Having to cut through these odd, twisted woods is inconvenient and worrisome. These are the exact sort of places where Zero knows thieves sleep and monsters play. Monsters made by mages with too much power and time on their hands. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Leo is quieter than usual. Not that he’s overly talkative with Zero. He’s something of an introvert in general—it makes it hard for Zero to get a good understanding of what he’s thinking. It makes him unpredictable. For the most part. Zero can tell one thing: he’s clearly bothered by that bridge. He knows, he must know. This was some sort of plan. They’re walking into an ambush. It’s just a matter of when. “We have no other options. Stay on your guard.” 

Stay on your guard. Zero wonders every day why anyone in their right mind, let alone a prince of Nohr, would take on a thief to be his retainer… but more than that he wonders why Leo didn’t bring any additional soldiers on this mission. He said it would be a test of Zero’s abilities but that’s an outright lie. There’s a deeper reason why he didn’t insist on bringing any of the king’s soldiers, there has to be. There has to be some absurd reason why he trusts a street rat who would betray him at any moment more than an army. What if Zero just let this kid die? What if he was the one to kill Leo in these woods?

Maybe if Zero weren’t so gods-be-damned confused about the deeper meanings here, he would just kill Leo and run away. But he won't. He doesn't deserve to die just because he slipped up in judgment once and spared a man's life. Some people would call that a noble trait.

“I believe if we press onwards at this pace we can make it through the woods by sundown. I’ll arrange for a place to stay for us when we get into the city,” Leo says. 

“We’re going to be attacked,” Zero says aloud. Continuing at this pace is an unlikely dream. Leo frowns deeper but doesn’t say a word on the subject. It’s just… unsettling. That look on his face is almost sad, but maybe it’s anger too. One thing is certain: he doesn’t seem surprised. That alone is surprising to  _ Zero Because _ he had no idea this would happen. But he knows just as well as Zero that this is a setup. There’s no question about that. 

A twig snaps to his left and Zero’s head snaps in that direction. He grips the bow that has been slung across his shoulder and watches carefully for any signs of real danger. The bow they gave him is nicer than his ever was. The arrows are tipped sharper for a more precise shot. The bow itself is made of steel and the cord is tight enough to cover a greater distance. 

“Lord Leo,” he says over his shoulder. It may be the first time he’s called him by his title without any hints of sarcasm. He hears another snap and his gaze turns to another direction. Two. There are at least two. He has a feeling in his gut this isn’t going to turn out to be a deer. He plucks an arrow from his quiver and sets it. 

“Over there!” Leo shouts. Zero turns and shoots with no hesitation. It’s a fluid movement that has him laying eyes on a monster. His stomach twists. He’s never seen one of these monsters up close before, and he’s never known they are such a disgusting shade. Yellow-grey and this one smells like mildew. It’s a faceless. 

Leo creates a spell from just a whisper. He's safer up on the back of his horse, and it gives him the advantage to be able to see a further distance in these trees. He crafts a spell that creates vines that crawl up the monster’s legs. It binds the beast and renders him immobile for now. Zero has never seen magic like that before. He’s seen spells that create fire or lightning or even wind, but never a spell that created plant life. 

It's Zero's own fault that he lets himself get distracted by Leo's spell. Listening to the tone of his voice murmur the words that summon that monster's death makes him deaf to the sound of the other creature approaching until it's exactly too late. The other faceless is upon him with a chain shackled to its wrist. Zero doesn't hear it until he lets the chain fly like a whip. Zero hears chains clattering and clinking and then he hears his own breathy grunt when the impact happens. It catches on his arm near his shoulder. The rusted, dull metal rips into his skin and tears open a wound with unexpected force. 

Zero is more than certain now that this is the ambush they were waiting for. He can hear it now more than ever: chains. Everywhere. Chains being dragged in the dirt, snagging on twisted roots as they get closer and closer. This certainly isn’t an unlucky encounter with a couple of wandering monsters. This is an outright attack. “Shit,” he breathes. “Shit, we’re surrounded.” 

“Niles?!” Leo calls. Zero hears Leo’s horse make a noise not unlike a child screaming. The monsters must have spooked her. But they can’t scare her off yet. That horse may be their only salvation! A fresh wave of panic slams into Niles because for half a second it looks like Leo may be thrown off of her and they’ll be left with no means of escape. 

Niles supposes he shouldn’t underestimate the prince. He has control over the situation a breath later, and that’s when the panic building in Zero’s mind settles into a gut instinct. Fight or flight--this time they need to run. Leo must have the same plan. He shouts at Zero. “Give me your hand!” 

Zero won’t need to be told twice. He sprints away from the monster that swung at him and he’s reaching for Leo. Their wrists clasp together. Niles can’t imagine anyone has ever scrambled onto a horse faster. The vantage point from up here is much better. Zero has had to run away from tough situations before. He’s got a good eye for escaping, not that his current situation of working for Leo would imply that. 

Right away he sees their window. A small clearing in the mangled up Nohrian trees that the horse will fit through just fine, but takes them off the path. “There,” He points. It’s not great; Leo will have to turn them around to get there. This poor horse will have to build up her speed quickly to get through before the monsters cut her off. Leo doesn’t hesitate any longer than it takes for him to see the clearing, though.

This saddle isn’t meant for two riders. It’s obvious because Niles wouldn’t properly fit into it even if he  _ were  _ sitting properly. But he’s not. He’s twisted around and settled with his back pressed against Leo’s.

From up here, Zero can count them: there are four monsters left. He's sure Leo can get them out of this, but Zero is going to make sure they don't have any unnecessary interference. He chose this precarious way of sharing the saddle so that he can draw his bow and shoot. It's not until he tries to notch the arrow and draw his arm back that he realizes he can't. There's just no way to pull his arm back that far without opening his wound further. His arm is already angry just at being lifted! 

_ Oh.Fine. _ Zero fumbles to switch the weapon to his left hand... and fumbles a little more to set the arrow. Aiming is a little harder like this; he’s not practiced in shooting on a horse at all, let alone with his opposite hand. When he takes his shot misses entirely the first time.  _ Shit. _

The second attempt goes better, but the horse picks up speed and he's nearly sent tumbling off of it. The only reason he isn't is that Leo reaches behind him with one hand and grips hard into the fabric of Zero's cape. Smart man. On the next attempt, Zero adjusts his aim based on his shortfall. He gets the monster in his shoulder, but even then it was a stroke of luck. He misses altogether on the third attempt. 

Faceless are not meant to be fast or intelligent. They’re mindless monsters who roam and kill without any target in mind. At least, that’s what Zero has always  _ heard about them.  _ In person, they seem to be just the opposite. These monsters move like they have a goal in mind, and they’re alarmingly quick on their feet. It’s almost as if they can see their plan to escape and they’re trying to prevent it. They don’t care about Zero at all; they’re trying to block their path.

“ _ Niles _ ,” Leo calls over his shoulder, over the loud galloping of the horse, “What is your  _ problem? _ I’ve seen you shoot before. We’re running out of time.” 

The infuriating thing is that Zero  _ is  _ a better shot than this. If he could even just land a hit at all maybe he could slow them down, injure them. He could scream! His anger bubbles up until it boils over and he slides off the horse. Leo gropes at the empty space where he just was, but Zero is already on his feet on the ground.

He's missed his shot three times, but he won't do it again. Those monsters are going to catch up, but there's no way they'll pass up this sort of distraction, will they? This split-second decision will be the story of Zero's own death.

The moment Zero’s boots crunch onto the ground the monsters hesitate. All four of them turn to look. There he is! Free for the taking. He’s sure these monsters were created to kill Prince Leo, but he’ll make a fine substitution. Just long enough for Leo to get away. He can survive that long.

“Niles?!” Leo shouts, but he can’t stop his horse and he can’t stop what’s happening. It’s out of their hands now. 

Zero isn’t sure what a retainer is for. There are a million servants in the castle and a million soldiers in the castle. That Leo would want one to be a little bit of both is just absurd. A jack of all trades is a master of none, and that’s why a retainer is a stupid concept. But this does solve their issue. Zero never wanted to serve Leo, but he felt like he owed him what was left of his useless life. This is a fine way to repay that debt. He’ll die here and Leo will be safe, and then their contract will end. 

He draws his bow in the proper hand. He may be going down, but he’s not going down without a good, bloody fight.  He turns to the closest of those creatures and he pulls his arm back as far as he needs to, to get a clean shot. The corners of his eyes prickle. His breath gets caught up in his lungs. He can feel his muscles screaming, where he can feel his skin ripping and the wound tearing open further. He pushes through that pain anyway, perhaps driven only by frustration. Zero may die today, but he’s going to take at least one of these things with him. The arrow flies true and the monster goes down. 

This is the part, he’s certain, where it ends. The other three monsters descend upon him. They’ll rip him to bits. Instead of that something impossible happens.

Trees. They’re not like the trees in this forest. These woods are made of barren, twisted trees that cloud out all of the pale sunlight in their attempts to grow. Nothing here is fresh or lively. Nothing here looks like these trees do. They’re tall and lush and healthy. They sprout from seemingly nowhere and form a wall on either side of Zero. A perfect pathway to his escape, and to Leo… who is clutching his tome and shaking. His eyes, the aura coming off him… they’re a new color. Zero doesn’t have time to admire it yet. 

He runs. A perfect path, a perfect wall of trees to protect him… until Leo’s focus drops and he moves his hand down to jerk Zero back onto the horse. They take off in a gallop after that, with Zero clinging to Leo around his chest with his unwounded arm. 

This close to Leo, he can hear him breathe. He can hear the last signs of panic leaving him and he can hear his panting even out into softer breaths. Zero looks back over his shoulder. One by one the trees that Leo just created fade away, as if they never existed at all. The monsters have already wandered off as well. They must have given up when they were trapped. 

It's well after dark when they make it out of those woods, and back onto an open trail. Leo doesn't let Zero dismount that horse until they're safe walking along the road again. By then Zero has had time to process the new color. It's not like the brown or yellow. It's startling and bright. The moment the spell faded Leo’s eyes turned back to that lovely, warm brown… but the rest of the world maintained its new color. Twisted grass on the side of the road, the stems of weeds… this new color is burned into Zero’s brain forever, now. Green.

Leo doesn’t decide to travel all the way into the city. They find a small farm on the road and the owners offer to let them stay. They don’t have much. A barn with a hole in the roof, but it isn’t raining and they bring out spare blankets. Leo doesn’t complain at all. He just thanks them and asks them for bandages and salves if they have any. 

Leo’s horse is grazing on some hay in the barn. There are other horses here that seem uninterested in their new guests. Zero falls down into a pile of straw that the old farmer has tossed a blanket over. Not a moment after he does Leo approaches with a bowl of water and the bandages he requested. “Take that off.” 

“My clothes? Lord Leo, I had no idea you…” 

"Hush. Take off that shirt so I can see what you did to yourself." He sits down in the hay, alongside Zero. In that moment… Zero has never felt quite like he deserved something less. Leo sees him struggling to raise his arm out of the shirt and so he helps him tear it. They rip the fabric until the ruined shirt falls away, and Leo examines his shoulder.

He breathes out a sharp sigh. “This isn’t as bad as it could be.” Is that optimism? He reaches for a scrap of Zero’s shirt and dips it into the bowl of water. Zero bites the inside of his cheek to brace himself before it even touches his skin. “What exactly did you think you were doing, Niles?” 

The blood on Zero’s arm wipes clean, but it stains the fabric of that shirt. Dark, dark grey. It’s not a color he’s ever seen before, and he doesn’t care to see it any time soon. He’s not sure he can even imagine what it would look like. All he knows is that blood  _ stains and _ if this shirt weren’t ruined by the tearing it would be ruined by this alone. 

“What’s the point of being your retainer if not to die for you?” He rolls his eye. “I didn’t know you could pull that stunt with the trees.” 

“I didn’t know I could do that either. Brynhildr is new to me, and I’ve barely had a chance to study it. I’m not certain I could recreate that if I tried.” Zero can’t say he knows how magic works, but he supposes that means that he should be counting his blessings. He’s got more and more of those to count lately, it seems. Leo must be one of them. 

Leo has such a focused look on his face. He sets aside the ruined shirt and he opens a tin of salve. The smell of herbs floods Niles nose even from a distance. Leo dips his fingers into it and rubs it between his index finger and thumb before he seems satisfied. He spreads it thickly onto Zero's wound.

Why is Leo taking such care of him? He shouldn’t. Zero is just a waste of space, a shell of a person. But he finds himself staying quiet and accepting this lecture. He supposes he owes Leo that much. “You’re not meant to die, Niles. If I wanted an expendable soldier I would have chosen one of the ignorant men that my father has enlisted in his service. Being my retainer is more than that. It’s being someone I can trust, someone who knows what I need before I do, someone who I can  _ rely on to _ keep me safe… but also to keep himself safe. I can see so much potential in you. Your skill with a bow is beyond that of trained soldiers. You’re quick on your feet and quicker to come up with solutions to problems… but you’re no good to me if you’re racing to your own death.” 

Why is he complimenting Zero? He keeps his eyes focused on wrapping bandages around his arm while he talks. His eyes are downcast, framed by short, thick lashes. When he’s not glaring his face seems much softer. 

“I think there’s more to you than the people who left you could see. I can see a future where you’re respected and well known for your prowess.” 

Leo ties off the bandages and Zero is silent for a moment. He thinks about what Leo just said to him. Is he really worth anything at all? Is there some hidden potential in him? More likely Leo is just entertaining ideas that will never come to fruition. But when Leo stands up and carries away the soiled water and rag, Zero speaks up. “You must think I’m worth  _ something if _ you saved my life twice.” 

"I wouldn't waste my time if I didn't." Leo turns to look at Zero, and while he does he starts to fiddle with the clasp of his cape. Zero, in turn, pushes himself up out of the hay so he can come to assist Leo with removing his armor for the night. Just as his fingers brush over the metal, Leo sets his gaze.

Staring at Leo’s eyes is impossible to describe. It’s still shocking, every time. Maybe like he’s looking at something he’s just not worthy of seeing. Maybe it’s because it makes him feel like he can’t look away. Maybe it’s because that warm brown is rapidly becoming Zero’s favorite color.

While Zero is lost in that thought Leo’s eyes soften again. Zero takes the opportunity to look away. It only lasts a second, because Leo’s next words have Zero’s gaze snapping right back. “Zero,” He says for the first time, “When morning comes, you may be dismissed. If you truly hate your position as my retainer there’s no reason to force you to stay for the entire year. I won’t hunt you down if you run away.” 

Zero feels the clasp open in his hand. The weight of Leo's cape falls into it and he pulls it close to fold it. Or, that is, to roll it up to set aside for the evening. Leo looks vulnerable at that moment. Maybe because he's young. He's still just a teenager and he's got a heavier weight on his shoulders than Zero originally realized. Or maybe because he was wrong. Zero isn't the worthy retainer he thinks he is.

There’s something going on in Windmire. Castle Krakenburg is full of secrets and Zero needs to find out what they are. Leo is not heartless. He’s a young man with as much heart as anyone else, but he’s  _ holding back _ . That ambush was planned, the whole thing was set up by someone. Someone is out to kill Leo. 

For the first time since he met the prince, Zero is very certain that he doesn’t want to see harm come to him. Leo is smart. If anyone is going to figure out what’s going on, if anyone is going to help  _ Zero  _ figure out what’s going on, it’s him.

So he moves back in front of Leo. Leo holds out his arm for him to help him unclasp the belts that hold on his bracers and armor. Instead Zero takes his hand. He holds it to help himself down to the dirt floor of the barn. His body screams at him too, because everything hurts and even just breathing makes his entire shoulder and arm and chest throb. 

“What are you--” 

Zero kneels on both knees. For a moment he's back on the rotten floor of the dungeon. Leo's eyes are on him and passing judgment. He means to let go of Leo’s hand but Leo’s grasp on it tightens like he’s worried Zero might fall over. He’s thankful for that touch of support. It’s just further evidence to his point. They’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but Leo obviously  _ cares _ .

“Lord Leo,” Zero says with his head hung low. “I am not worthy to be your retainer.” He can hear protest in Leo’s throat but before he can speak it he goes on to add. “I know I’m not. But I think… I’d like to try to become a better man. ‘Niles’ is kind of growing on me. If you think my pitiful life was worth saving then I will prove you right.” 

“You’re asking to be my retainer?” Leo asks. “Are you quite certain? If you agree to this now I’ll hold you to it.” 

Is he? He's never truly been certain of anything before, but he feels like this is a cause he can get behind. This is a man he can fight for. This is the man he is meant to stand beside. His soulmate, and now his liege. “Yes.”

Yesterday he was nothing. He was a man with no purpose and no reason to carry on. Today, now, in this barn, with starlight falling down over them he becomes someone new. He becomes Niles, retainer to Prince Leo of Nohr.


	2. Chapter 2

There is something going on in this castle. Several months have passed since Niles came here, and by now he’s very certain of it. There’s something deeper, something hidden in plain sight, but no one seems even remotely inclined to talk about it. Leo doesn’t say a word on the subject. 

 

The fact that he keeps it to himself is almost an insult considering he’s so willing to talk to Niles about nearly anything else. In the past months, Leo has talked to him about his favorite books, he talks to him about battle strategy, and he talks to him about what he studies in Brynhildr. Although they don’t spend every waking moment together, so much of their time is spent in each other’s company that it’s hard to imagine being anything but close. Niles is vastly uncomfortable with it. He doesn’t want to admit that he became fast friends with the prince, but he’s got nothing else to call it.

 

Niles is sure that in the long-run it’s better that they get along so well. Although most of the staff of Krakenburg make Niles cringe, Leo is easy to be around. He talks and his voice is soothing to Niles, like a melody that he’s heard before and brings a sense of familiarity, but it’s brand new and he never knows what to expect. It’s better that they get along because it makes it easier for Niles to serve him. If they didn’t get along he would take far less interest in helping Leo with his clothes or his armor or bringing him meals. 

 

Since coming to Krakenburg Niles has had a little bit more time to get to know the people who live here. Leo has an older sister who has a former assassin on her staff as her retainer. Or perhaps she’s a current assassin? She seems quite capable of murdering anyone in this building without batting an eye, but Niles wonders exactly what price would make her willing to betray Lady Camilla. He doesn’t trust her yet, but he hardly trusts anyone in this prissy castle. After all, most of the people who work and live here are higher class and haven’t seen a day of  _ real _ trouble in their lives. 

 

Or so he thinks, anyway. 

 

Leo's younger sister has two retainers, but neither of them seems very capable. One of them is constantly falling all over himself and the other is just as young as the princess. Maybe Leo choosing to take Niles on as a retainer wasn't as crazy as he thought? It seems like the royal family of Nohr just haphazardly throws a dart into a crowd and wherever it lands is their next retainer.

 

The only one of the bunch who seems to have reasonable retainers is the crown prince. Leo’s older brother, Xander, has a set of retainers who make even Niles shrink away. One of them is a woman arguably seven feet tall. She’s trained with a lance and has a throwing arm so strong she can throw a spear nearly as far as Niles can shoot. Or at least it seems like it from watching her train, anyway. She’s loud and proud. Her name is Merci. She’s a chatty woman but she’s also constantly at her liege’s side. She works diligently and Niles can never seem to find a moment of free time to talk to her.

 

He has found a moment or two of free time to talk to Jean before. Jean is Xander’s second retainer. He’s a shorter, stout man. A Great Knight—trained with any weapon you can imagine and willing to cut you down before you’re even done imagining it. He’s uptight. Like he’s got an entire stick up his ass if you ask Niles. No one has asked him so far, but if they’re willing to he’s already formed an opinion without even having a complete conversation.

 

Jean  _ doesn’t like  _ Niles. Who can blame him? He’s the only one in this damn castle with any sense to him. He looks at Niles and sees a dangerous thief and he treats him that way. The few times they’ve had a chance to be in the same space as one another has just been Jean grunting at him and Niles… backing away. Angry, middle-aged, dwarf men aren’t exactly his cup of tea anyway. 

 

But just in case he ever does decide he wants to face death’s sweet embrace, Niles is going to remember that insult so that he can say it to Jean’s scruffy face.

 

The thing about Merci and Jean that bothers Niles most has nothing to do with personality, however. It’s that they know something. Niles can see it in their eyes. They don’t just look like exhausted castle help. They look like they’re carrying baggage. It’s not something Niles can just ignore. 

 

He  _ needs _ to know what's going on in this castle because he thinks whatever it is might just be a danger to Leo. He's not certain but… what if that ambush that had them hurt a few months earlier had something to do with  _ this _ ? Finding out who or what is behind all this is his duty to his liege. 

 

If there's one thing he can do for Leo simply by being the filthy thief he's always been, it's getting information. He's got a lot of connections. Some he's obviously cut ties with… but others he can still salvage. Leo saved his life twice; Niles won’t let that fall on deaf ears. 

 

He’s going to have to find a way to weasel that information out of Jean and Merci, but he has no business with them just yet… so, for now, he goes about  _ his _ business. He's helping Leo dress for the day. This kid is hopeless. There are seams on the inside of the fabric, how hard is it to tell which side goes in or out? But it's sort of cute, in a way. 

 

Leo isn’t the heartless man that Niles thought he was when they met. That much is obvious. He’s not completely innocent either. There’s something he hides, a secret or two that he keeps. But Niles is growing to trust him. It’s hard to admit. He’s barely known him half a year but he would believe damn near anything he said. 

 

It’s dangerous to trust someone blindly like that. Niles isn’t new to betrayal. Being left for dead in a castle wasn’t his first experience with being abandoned and he’s sure it won’t be his last. 

 

But he hasn't been betrayed by Leo yet, and for the first time in a while… he's not afraid. He admires the way Leo looks in his clothes now that they're all corrected. With the click of his tongue, Niles says, “There you are, milord. Good as new.” 

 

"Yes. Well, I'm just thankful that you noticed it was inside out  _ before  _ I went to lunch with my siblings, this time.” He briefly admires himself in his mirror. His hair and clothes look fine, of course, but Niles thinks Leo looks a little too reserved for someone about to spend the day with his family. Not that Niles has ever had one, but isn’t a family supposed to be a good thing? People you love and care for and who support you? 

 

He’s just about to open his mouth and comment on the fact that Leo looks constipated when Leo speaks up to him first. “Niles, I’ve noticed you’re excelling in training.” 

 

“I appreciate the flattery, milord,” Niles says. He also appreciates the irritated face Leo briefly makes… but not as much as he wants to. There’s just not as much pleasure in frustrating Leo as there is in driving anyone else up the wall. There’s a piece of Niles that can just tell when he’s bothered, and it bothers  _ him  _ too. 

 

“No, but really. You’ve worked hard, but I think you can do even greater. I believe we should look into training you with basic healing staves.”

 

There are several reasons why that seems like a useless idea. Train Niles with staves? He wouldn't want to lug one of those around with him. Having a skill means having to carry it with you. As it is a bow is plenty to carry without being seen or heard. Not to mention "I'm already quite trained in treating wounds. Call me self-taught."

 

Leo raises an eyebrow at him. “Be that as it may, I sense a magic within you that you have an opportunity to nurture. I won’t force you to learn, but I think you would do well to consider it.” 

 

Niles looks at his hands for a moment. Could he learn to heal? He’s never done anything good with these hands. They’re better suited to harming than helping, and he would be worried to disappoint Leo in a wasted effort. “It might be a waste of your resources, milord.” 

 

“You may say no for now,” Leo says. “But if you change your mind, say the word. Bettering yourself is a benefit to me, and you will never be a waste of resources in that regard. Now, I should be going…” 

 

“Of course. I should be gracious to you, Lord Leo.” Niles takes a small, probably unnecessary bow… and Leo spares him a tiny, uncomfortable smile. 

 

“You may have the rest of your morning off. I will see you again before dinner.” 

 

Leo is going to spend the morning with his family… and without his retainer. He assumes that means that the crown prince will  _ also _ be without his retainers… and so Niles decides to spend his morning looking for Merci.

 

He finds her mid-route to the training grounds. She's on her way to spar, no doubt. With Jean, if he had to guess. He's found her just in time, so maybe he can pick her brain before she walks outside. "Lady Merci," He calls.

 

Merci turns around and spots him. “Niles?” She asks, “Can I help you with something, kiddo?” Merci is not old enough to treat Niles like a child, but he doesn’t mind when she does. He prefers it to the names that Jean has certainly been calling him behind his back. She’s got a scar running across her cheek and she’s got dark, almost black hair with just the faintest hints of purple in it. 

 

For the moment she props her hands on her hips. Niles looks around. “I’ve been meaning to… ask you something.” The hallway is empty but that doesn’t mean no one is listening. The walls have eyes and ears in Krakenburg. Niles just wants to know who they belong to. 

 

“Well,” Merci looks towards the hall she was heading down. “Walk and talk. Jean’ll kill me if I’m late. Hey—do you wanna spar with us, kid? No one alive can whip someone into shape faster than Jean and I. We’ve trained half of the army!”

 

“Tempting, but… I think I’ll pass.” Niles clears his throat. He falls into step walking at her side, but he has to keep a quick pace to keep up with her strides. “Milady, what I mean to ask is… Do you ever get the feeling that something is  _ happening _ here in this castle?” 

 

Like clockwork, Merci stops walking. She looks around again and then she looks down at Niles with a tight frown on her face. She's always nice to strangers, and a gentle giant to her friends—or so he hears—but she looks at him with venom. "Happening? Don't be silly! The only thing happening here is preparations for the first frost."

 

That’s not true. Niles arches his brow high at her. Merci doesn’t budge. She just laughs. “Oh, Niles. Maybe you’re just on edge because you came from an upsetting background? There’s nothing to fear here. You’re safe in the castle walls.” 

 

“It’s just that—“ 

 

“Oh! Look at that,” Merci gasps, “I’ve been sitting here idle. I’ve really got to go. Run along now, Niles. If you’re bored I’m sure that Prince Leo would be delighted if you cleaned his study. Those old books gather dust quickly!” 

 

“Of course…” Niles watches Merci go and the feeling settling in his stomach that something  _ wrong _ is going on in this castle only intensifies. Maybe, he thinks, he’ll have better luck asking Jean. Or maybe Merci was giving him a hint?

 

Niles spends the entire afternoon in Leo's study. He looks after the books and dusts them off. He looks at their spines and their covers and he wonders if there's something in there that can help him, but… well, he's not exactly educated. What he can read he only knows from a need to survive. Basic words or thieves' codes, but nothing that would help him decipher a book that someone as intellectual as Leo would read.

 

Leo is delighted that Niles has dusted the shelves in his study, though.

 

…

 

This isn’t Niles’s fault. 

 

Niles doesn’t want to admit it’s his fault, anyway. He considers himself to be a good scout. He keeps an eye and an ear out and he knows when danger is approaching. This ambush, however… came with something of a new diversion. A distraction to get him searching for their potential enemies in the wrong direction entirely… and leaving their small force open to an attack from behind. 

 

It’s not his fault; it was an enemy strategy. He wants to justify it, to say that he’s not the one who walked them into this trap, but there’s no sense in denying it, not really. It  _ is _ his fault. All he can do now is make up for it. 

 

“Lord Leo,” Niles calls out. He can’t get eyes on him right away. They aren't ambushed by monsters this time but by people. Soldiers on horseback and with swords and axes drawn, but they're not in any uniform Niles recognizes. He wonders if they're rebel troops, but he doesn't have time to figure it out. He sees a flash of magic that sparkles bright and green against a bland sky and he rushes in that direction. Leo’s too far ahead. 

 

Leo isn’t invincible and he certainly knows better than to think so, but if  _ Niles _ didn’t know better he would think he had a lust for death. He charges ahead fearlessly to fight alongside his soldiers and he acts like his armor is enough to protect him… but it’s not. 

 

Niles sprints to catch up and Leo turns his head to look at him. “Niles?” He asks in response to Niles’s call. He looks relieved to see him, not angry that he failed to predict this ambush. Or he looks that way at first. Then, very suddenly, he shouts. Niles watches with numb fingertips. The chest plate is blown clean off Leo’s body by a blast of magic that kicks up the dust. It’s lightning spells that fill the air with smoke. 

 

Niles can remember the last time they were ambushed. It was easier, then. Niles was the one in danger of being hurt. This time Niles's chest is burning. He's running as fast as he can through the dust and smoke and he's choking on something else too. A wave of anxiety so strong he can't help but wonder if he's dying overlaps with Leo's scream in his ears. It's the worst noise Niles has ever heard. His heart falls to his knees and for a moment he thinks he's deaf to any other sounds.

 

He collides with a man with a sword. Not with a weapon in hand, Niles doesn’t have any sort of plan… He just uses the weight of his own body to knock the other guy off his feet. He’s lucky to have caught him off guard. He’s not proud of how quickly he kills that man, doesn’t even get to savor it, because he doesn’t take an extra second to look at his face before he’s on his feet and turning to check on Leo.

 

He looks awful. The dust is settling and the mage who started this is long gone, but that swordsman certainly saw his opportunity and took it. Leo’s chest has a deep slice across the front of it. He’s so pale, his chest is heaving and he’s taking shaky breaths, and he’s clutching at his own wound. He’s trying to put pressure on it, but his hand is shaky and weak.

 

Hot, thick blood oozes out between his fingers. It soaks into his armor and his clothes and dribbles over his hands. Niles sees it in shocking color. Vibrant and horrible, Leo bleeds red and Niles recalls politely declining to learn how to heal just over a week before.

 

Niles’s heart is racing, rattling against his chest like it’s trying to break free but also like it might stop if given the chance. “Milord,” He breathes out… and with the inhale he climbs into the saddle behind Leo.

 

Leo’s voice cracks into a whine when Niles reaches past him. He forces Leo to lean forward so that he can reach for the reins, but he can’t waste a moment. Maybe he could heal Leo himself if he hadn’t been so quick to refuse to learn, but he won’t let him die because of it. Niles pulls tight on the reins and kicks the horse’s sides and it must get the memo because it  _ sprints _ . 

 

Leo falls back against Niles’s chest. He hisses in pain as he does, but he settles there. There’s blood all over him. It’s steadily soaking into Niles’s clothes too. He’s never been more terrified of blood in his life. The color is alarming, it’s scaring him. The way Leo struggles to breathe in is even scarier. 

 

"You're warm," Leo mumbles. Niles is going  _ anywhere _ but here. He doesn't care about the battle and he doesn't care about the soldiers. Leo needs medical attention and he won't be getting it on a battlefield. Niles feels like he's going to throw up, but Leo seems comfortable laid up against him. He knows he can't be. "Ah… but of course, you would feel warm and safe to me when I'm hurt… they say that's the magic of soulmates."

 

“Please save your energy, milord,” Niles mutters. Leo hasn’t talked to him about soulmates since the day they met. He was told not to tell anyone and so Niles hasn’t… and he imagines Leo hasn’t either. He was ashamed of it, of course. Niles doesn’t blame him. If he were in Leo’s position and he came to find his soulmate was a filthy street rat, he would be ashamed too. 

 

Maybe it makes sense. He doesn’t recall many tales of soulmates but he does know they’re meant to comfort one another. He knows that they can sense when the other is hurting. If this twisted up anxiety is his body’s way of telling him that Leo is hurt, it can kindly stop now. He’s busy, distracted, trying to get Leo to safety… and he doesn’t have time to feel like he might wretch. 

 

“Niles,” Leo’s voice sounds so far away when he finally speaks up again. Niles is afraid to look down at him to see how pasty his skin has become. “Don’t let them punish you for this. Don’t blame yourself.” 

 

“Hush now, please,” Niles repeats. He’s not sure if Leo obeys that request so much as he simply faints there in Niles’s arms, but Niles can do nothing now except hope.

 

…

 

"You'll be killed, you know," Jean says to Niles a few days later. Leo hasn't recovered from his injuries. There are healers working with him day and night. He's been awake but never truly there. Niles isn't even allowed to see him right now.

 

He busies himself completing tasks that he knows Leo would ask of him anyway. It’s in Leo’s study, dusting those books again, that Jean approaches him. It’s the first time Niles can recall him having an actual conversation with him… and it would be about his impending execution. 

 

He knows, of course. If Leo dies Niles will be executed. The fact that he failed to protect his liege deserves punishment on its own. If he allows Leo to die because of his mistake, he knows his fate is sealed. It’s punishment enough to live the way he is now. Every moment of every day his heart feels like someone has reached out and squeezed it. It’s twisted mercilessly and every broken breath is like a gasp for air. As long as his liege is suffering, as long as he is hurting, Niles knows now he’ll feel this way. It’s his own body’s way of telling him that his soulmate needs him. He needs help. 

 

But Niles has already failed him once and he’s incapable of helping him now. “Thank you for sharing the obvious. May I help you with anything else?” 

 

Jean nods his head. He’s short but he sure carries himself like he’s the tallest man in Nohr. He walks right past Niles and he pulls back on a book. Niles hears a very distinct click. The shelf gives when Jean pushes on it.

 

A hidden passage. Niles doesn’t even bother to set down the dust rag in his hands before he follows Jean inside. The shelf clicks back into place behind them and Niles looks around. It’s a second study. There are more books here, and a smaller desk with a candle burnt down low. “What… is this?” 

 

"This is a part of Leo's study," Jean answers. "With a charm cast over it to prevent sound from traveling outside of it. Merci told me what you said to her." He wanders past the desk and to a small, crumbly bookshelf. From it, he picks up a book and looks it over… but he puts it back. "I don't trust you. How can I be expected to believe you're a suitable retainer when your liege is laying in the castle infirmary  _ dying _ ?” 

 

He’s not dying. He can’t die. What’s the point of Niles being here if Leo is going to die? He bites his tongue because he wants to say it but he has absolutely no proof. “Why is this room charmed,” he grunts through gritted teeth. 

 

“I can’t say,” Jean turns back to face Niles. “Prince Leo did it. There are people in this castle that shouldn’t be trusted. People who have diligently worked to make sure they cover their tracks. Now that you’re here you’re part of it. You can hinder Leo or help him.” 

 

Niles wouldn’t hurt Leo. He swore to protect him and he will. The day they returned from that first mission together Niles took his vows and swore fealty. He meant it. Jean is getting under his skin like pins under his fingernails. “What do you want? Just tell me who it is that’s doing this so I can take care of it.” 

 

“It’s bigger than that.” Jean scoffs. “Even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t trust you as far as I can throw you. But Prince Leo… He did. He trusted you.” 

 

“He trusts me.” Niles corrects. Because he’s alive. He’s not dead yet, or else this gnawing nausea eating away at him would be gone. Wouldn’t it? Or maybe this is his punishment for letting his own soulmate die. 

 

“As much as I hate to admit it, if I were in your shoes I think I would do the same thing that you are. I wouldn’t leave or run away from my punishment, but continue carrying on my lord’s wishes. I came to find you today by request of Lady Elise.” 

 

Jean passes a small scroll into Niles’s hand. He half expects for it to be about whatever is happening in this castle, except that the moment his hand comes into contact with it he feels something far more powerful resonating from it. It’s a spell. 

 

“What is this?” Niles asks. He unfurls it and finds that it’s just an image. A small seal with a few words--words even Niles can read. 

 

"Lady Elise told me that Prince Leo wished for you to have it. It's a seal. It will help you with your bow mastery and grant you new power and magic. It will grant you the power of healing.”

 

“Too little, too late,” Niles mutters to himself. He rolls the scroll back up. “Why would Princess Elise give this to you?”

 

“Prince Leo is very close with his sisters. Especially his youngest sister. He tells her everything. She told me he spoke very highly of you. She asked me to tell you to run away from the castle. She thinks that you escaping here with your life is what Lord Leo wants.” Jean walks back to the wall switch. He pulls on a small lever and it opens again. 

 

“Wait!” 

 

“Hush.” Jean frowns at Niles, nearly scowls at him. “Prove to me whose side you’re really on.” He leaves with those dramatic words and Niles is left standing there in the study alone. He would never run. He swore his life to Leo and if Leo dies due to his mistakes then he’ll die as his punishment. More than that, though, he wants to watch over him. He knows that Jean came here to tell him to shut up and stop asking questions, but Niles finds his thoughts stuck on a loop of that last little bit. Leo speaks highly of him to his siblings. For just a moment the anxiety stuck in his chest melts into something warm. 

 

He looks at the scroll in his hands. Leo wanted him to have this so badly that he told Elise about it. Maybe, he thinks, it’s not too late after all. He opens the scroll and reads over the chant once in his head… and again out loud. As he does the room flashes bright with light. He feels weak first… but then empowered. Like he’s been given all the strength he should have had before, could have had before to better protect his liege. More than that he can feel  _ magic _ . Of course, he could sense it a little before, but now he feels it in waves. He feels it coming off the walls, he feels the charm on this room, he feels the magic seeping out of the books on the shelves and into the air he's breathing in.

 

He needs to see Leo.

 

…

 

He’s been told no one is allowed in to see Leo. Only the maids and butlers who are working in shifts to heal him are to be in his room. There are exceptions made for his siblings now or then, but Niles is not allowed. 

 

Niles has never been one for following rules. He sneaks easily past the wait staff and into the room. He closes the door with a gentle click behind him… and then he takes in the sight of Leo. He’d like to say he looks better than he did when he last saw him, but he hardly does. He has a little more color to his face but he looks weak and broken. His wound across his chest has been healed nearly entirely. There’s nothing but a scar left, and Niles wonders if that will be wiped away by magic or not. Will Leo have a scar across his chest for the rest of his life, to remember Niles’s failure?

 

There isn’t a staff in here. Using one as a catalyst to propel the magic is how most healers work. But Niles is brimming with new magic and he’s desperate to fix what he ruined. Leo doesn’t deserve to lay in this bed and rot. He deserves to lecture Niles for his failures. He sits down there on the side of his bed, very gently. Like maybe he might accidentally disturb him, but that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. He lays the palm of his hand over Leo’s chest. He can feel his heartbeat.  _ Ba-bump, ba-bump.  _

 

Some of the pain in Niles’s chest dies just like that. Just seeing him, knowing that even if he’s not okay he’s not dead either. He closes his eye.

 

When Leo uses his magic it’s bright and full of life like the trees and grass and vines it creates. Niles’s magic isn’t colorful, but white. Just raw energy that he propels directly from his hand and into Leo's body and he hopes for the best. He's never done this before and he's certainly never been told what to do.

 

But it feels right. For days he’s been sitting here, waiting. He’s done nothing to help Leo at all, but now he is. Now he’s trying. 

 

A butler steps inside and chokes out a shout. “Niles! Stop! Using healing spells without a stave is reckless!” 

 

Niles hesitates. For a moment the magic stops, but he swears he hears Leo’s heart skip a beat… and so he won’t stop. The butler rushes closer and tries to pull his hand away. “When you don’t use a stave you can’t channel your magic. It does more harm than good to put senseless magic into someone, and--” 

 

Leo grunts. 

 

Niles’s heart skips a beat this time. The butler stops talking. There, under his hand, Leo is moving. His eyes scrunch together. Maybe a little bit of reckless healing is just what he needed. 

 

Leo's eyes open and Niles is reminded just how much he loves that color. Warm and soft and sometimes sharp but never broken. His eyes are unfocused at first but then they lock onto Niles's and it's like the moment they met all over again. Niles can't move. He's got butterflies in his chest where his anxiety once was and he thinks if he stares long enough he'll learn all of Leo's secrets.

 

He quickly pulls his hand away and stands up to let a real healer do his work. He steps back and the butler gets closer, but Leo croaks out “N-Niles.” 

 

“I’m here, milord,” Niles says calmly. Calm and cool but his heart is thumping so hard in his chest now that he grows dizzy. 

 

…

 

Leo is fine now. He’s been asked to stay on bedrest and so he is because every time he tries to get up to do anything Niles barks at him. Nearly losing Leo taught him something valuable: just because he accepted this position as his retainer doesn't mean he's done learning. He needs to get stronger. He needs to work harder. He needs to figure out what Jean and Merci know that he doesn't… and if he can prove himself to them, maybe they'll share.

 

Leo is propped up in his bed by a few pillows. There is a cup of tea on his bedside table but it's growing cold because he's so distracted by his book. Or he was before Niles stepped into the room to model a new set of clothes.

 

It’s entirely unnecessary. Niles didn’t sign up for this when he cast that spell on himself, but Leo insisted that he wear the correct uniform. “Are you very sure about this, milord?” he asks. He turns in a slow circle for Leo to see the back, to see the cape that’s been fitted and tied to look like a bow. 

 

“I’m very certain. This uniform allows us to see from a distance which of our allies are capable of healing us.” He sets the open book face down in his lap and drums his fingertip on his chin. He looks damn cute like that, with the deep v of his nightshirt threatening to slip over his shoulder and his hair just a touch messier than usual. 

 

“Really?” Niles is certain his disbelief is clear in his voice, but he turns to face the other way before he can think any other thoughts about Leo’s potentially bare shoulder. 

 

Leo’s argument sounds fake. Niles doesn’t recall seeing  _ anyone _ else wearing a giant bow on their back, not even the healers. But then Leo chuckles under his breath and he adds “Besides, I like it.”

 

Niles is, at that moment, so incredibly thankful to be facing the opposite direction. The heat that comes onto his face makes his cheeks prickle, and a gross swell of pride settles over him. Leo likes this outfit? Then Niles will wear it, no more questions asked.

 

Leo made him promise never to tell anyone that they’re soulmates, he said he wasn’t at all interested in love… but Niles is growing more and more aware now that his heart races every time Leo laughs like that.


	3. Chapter 3

The seasons don’t change in Nohr. Niles has seen other countries and he’s seen bountiful harvests or bright springtime blossoms, but that’s not the way Nohr behaves. Nohr, unlike other countries, seems to prefer its darkness. It is always dim and cool here, even in the summer. The harvest season is always meek and never bountiful. The trees look the same amount of twisted and dead all year round; the winter does nothing to hurt them. It just brings a biting chill. 

 

It’s a little over a year later that Niles realizes he’s spent several long seasons at Leo’s side. This will be his second winter in the Nohrian castle, and he’s comfortable here. He never expected that, of course. He thought every waking moment would be terrible. He thought it would be torture just to drag himself through the day. 

 

Most of his days he wakes up eager to spend more time with Leo. He doesn’t mind waking with the sun to bring his liege morning tea or help him dress for the day. And most of the time he even chooses to tell him when his shirt is on inside out, now. He lives for the brief moments that their hands accidentally touch. He lives for the warmth of Leo’s skin under his unworthy fingertips.

 

Before he met Leo, Niles didn’t even know what soulmates were, but now that he’s been living for Leo for so long he’s convinced that Leo is his reason to exist at all. All that he is and all that he will ever be… he’s here because Leo chose him.

 

Or, at least, chose him to be his retainer. Although Niles sees the world in colors bright and vivid now, Leo didn’t ask for a soulmate. He asked for a retainer. There are still days when Niles wonders about Leo’s true intentions when he spared his life. He claims he saw potential in Niles and frankly that may be true. He has done nothing but develop Niles into a better man since they met. But some days when the cold sets in and they light a small fire in the hearth in Leo’s study, Niles gets lost in the way it flickers orange and yellow and bright. It looks as warm as it feels, now, and that warmth licks over Niles’s body and mind. 

 

Did seeing colors when he met Niles have anything to do with Leo sparing his life? If it did, does he still care? Leo treats Niles the same way he would treat most servants. Or, he did at first. Now he treats Niles to secret smiles or muttered sarcasm when other people walk away. Like they’re friends. 

 

Niles is amazed to be trusted with that friendship. He would never ask for more. Leo never discusses their status as soulmates. Not since the day he was dying in Niles’s arms, mumbling nonsense about feeling comfort even through the pain. Seeing as how Niles never intends to let Leo get hurt again, he doesn’t suppose they’ll ever talk about it again.

 

And they don’t talk about it, but Leo takes him by surprise when he talks about the next closest thing. “Niles,” Leo asks one cold day. He’s in his room, undressed for the evening. Leo’s nightshirts are Niles’s  _ favorite _ thing to see him in. They’re too big, as if they’re old hand-me-downs. Even the royal family tries to recycle clothes now and then, it seems. This one comes down into a deep v along his chest and when he slouches Niles can, if he tries, catch a glimpse of his belly button where the fabric sags. He’s seated on his bed and he’s surrounded by books and paper, unsurprisingly. He works even when he should be resting. The tea that Niles brought for him is getting cold on the bedside table. “Look at this book.” 

 

Niles doesn’t read well. He reads the basics. Since Leo found out he’s been teaching him personally… but he still finds himself pulling a face at the idea of trying to read anything that came from a study. Still, he steps closer and invites himself to sit on the side of Leo’s bed. He takes the book and flips through the first few pages. “Oh.” 

 

It’s colors. There are some words, small words. Labels. This is a book of color swatches and their names. He stops at a page where reds bleed into browns and he reads the names of the color that he’s loved for so long. They’re named for each shade, like whoever wrote this wanted to pass down knowledge he knew couldn’t be shared any other way. 

 

Leo’s eyes look closest to the color labeled  _ walnut _ . Like a tree—and maybe that’s suited to him. 

 

"I found it in my brother's study. I'm sure he had his reasons for taking it; he always takes an interest in odd books like this. But so far as I know Xander doesn't see in color so he won't mind if I borrow it." So far as he knows? Does Leo's brother know  _ he  _ sees in color? Leo makes a small stack of the papers around him and instead encourages Niles to lay the book out between them. It’s big, heavy. Are there really so many colors in the world?

 

"A painter made this. I've read ahead to other chapters. He's labeled colors, all the silly names for them. There are legends that say the whole world saw in color once. Soulmates were common and love was simple or some nonsense. I don't know that I believe  _ that _ , but I believe this book is useful.”

 

Niles’s heart drums in his chest and in his ears. It’s just that even the word soulmate makes his pulse quicken now. Leo talking so  _ casually _ about it makes him acutely aware that they are. They’re soulmates. They’re meant to be in love, just like Leo said… 

 

But they aren’t. And they won’t be. This friendship is as far as it will ever go because Leo didn’t get to choose his soulmate, and if he had he would never have chosen someone like Niles. He would have chosen someone with culture and class and education. Someone easy to love. 

 

He swallows but there’s a knot in his throat holding fast. Instead of trying to swallow it again he croaks out a whisper. “Why are you showing me?” 

 

Leo’s gaze sets on Niles. Oh, his eyes. It’s been well over a year but they’re still shocking and gorgeous. “I want to know which colors you can see. I still don’t see them all, but I’m curious. Do we see the same colors?” 

 

Niles looks down at the book and tries not to appear as hesitant as he is. Leo turns the page to what looks like an entire rainbow of colors, and he points to several. “Blue and purple were the first colors I saw. Red and brown shortly after. Now I can see many. Gold, silver, pink, yellow, and these blended colors in between. But I don’t see this one.” 

 

He points to green. Niles sees it as vibrant as always. Of course, he couldn't see pink or purple yet, so it's not as if he's at an advantage. "I see that one," He answers. "It was one of the first colors I ever saw; the trees in your spells have green leaves." 

 

“Your shirt is purple,” Leo says. Maybe he’s just letting Niles know? But then it occurs to him something new. Niles sees Leo in perfect color. He sees the creamy color of his skin, his blonde hair, the beige colors of his nightshirt. He can see those gorgeous eyes, always so curious when his walls are down. Sharp when he feels defensive.

 

Just based on those colors that Leo listed already… can he see Niles in perfect color, too? Does he see the tone of his skin and eyes and hair and think they’re wonderful, the way Niles thinks Leo is perfect?

 

“This sort of knowledge can be used as an advantage in battle, I think. Knowing the colors that enemy armies dress their soldiers in will help us locate them.” 

 

“Only the people who have met their soulmates,” Niles mutters. But Leo isn’t wrong. There  _ are _ people in this army who would benefit from that information. Right? 

 

"Yes," Leo says. He's quiet for a moment before he draws his fingertips along some of the colors on the pages. "In my experience, new colors are coming to me when events occur. The day we met, the first time I saw you injured…" 

 

“Mmm,” Niles doesn’t want to talk about injuries. He saw blood in color for the first time when Leo was injured too. “Do you have a favorite?” 

 

“Blue.” Leo always sounds certain when he makes decisions, but it’s sort of startling that he’s decided on that so quickly. He takes the book back and closes it, but settles it in his lap.

 

“There are several shades of blue, milord. Which is your favorite?” 

 

Leo waves his hand aimlessly. “That sort of clear blue, like your eyes. Do you have a favorite?” 

 

Niles… is glad he’s sitting, because his knees would have given out. Leo’s favorite color is the color of his eyes? That’s an incredibly romantic thing to say, especially after a discussion about soulmates in general. And then to ask him, like he doesn’t already know. Like he can’t see right through Niles and know that he loves that perfect shade of brown so much… Niles stands up from the bed and clears his throat. “Too many to choose from,” He lies. “I should fetch your tea.” 

 

…

 

"So it's like this," Merci whispers to Niles one night, in that hidden study. He meets her here now and then. Jean too. Neither of them seems willing to tell all the secrets they have at once, but they're starting to trust him. Niles is starting to trust them, too. They're the only ones here who seem to realize something is out of place. "Prince Xander had other siblings, once. The three who are left now, that you know… well, there are others." 

 

Niles rubs his arms. It’s cold in here, now, and he has other things to do. Leo is waiting for him to bring him hot tea--he asked for it specifically. Mint tea, which isn’t the normal sort he drinks. Niles isn’t sure what he has planned for it. Niles drinks it all the time, but most people only drink it when they have a sour stomach. If Leo isn’t feeling well, Niles needs to get it taken care of quickly. 

 

But, well, this is an interesting subject. “Leo has other siblings? Where?” 

 

"A princess of Nohr was kidnapped many years ago by Hoshido. They also have a sibling who was taken in by Garon around the same time. The princess is long gone, you'll never hear a word of her on the lips of the royal family. As for that other sibling… Well, they're kept locked away in a fort not far from here. They're not allowed to interact with this castle, because," 

 

“This is here-say,” Jean interrupts. “We suspect that this sibling was actually kidnapped from Hoshido, long ago, as well. They’re certainly not Hoshidan by birth, however. It’s the only explanation for why they’ve been kept hidden away from the castle, though.” 

 

“So that they can’t be found, you mean,” Niles realizes. “Why is this relevant?” 

 

“Well beyond those two siblings, there were others yet. Children of king Garon who have been picked off one by one over the years. Milord tells me that his father had many lovers, and that is why he hopes only to have one. He also tells me to keep my nose out of this sort of thing, but…” 

 

“But?” Niles asks. He quirks up his brow at her and she shrugs her shoulders and looks over at Jean. He clears his throat.

 

“Niles,” Jean says, “We know you have connections.  _ Other _ connections. The reason we asked to meet you today is that we overheard a rumor that there may be an ambush. All we know is that the target is--" 

 

“I don’t have connections.” Niles doesn’t even mind that he interrupts Jean. He’s a lot less intimidated by him than he used to be. Besides, he’s not wavering on this. The connections he had, the life he had as Zero… that’s over. It’s gone. They left him to die and he’d rather suck off a cactus than let them back into his life. Besides… they’re not safe. Leo wouldn’t be safe. 

 

“The next target is a male member of the royal family,” Jean finishes. Niles’s eye widens briefly before he bites his own tongue. 

 

_ Shit.  _

 

“Who exactly told you that?” 

 

“It’s just a lead we got, left in a note addressed to us. No one owned up to delivering it for fear of losing their life,” Merci says. “I can’t blame them. Suggesting someone in the castle is planning this could be construed as treason, all things considered.”

 

"You think it's an inside job," Niles says. Of course, it is. His fingers twitch. He's known since day one there wasn't something right about this castle. He's just been lucky to have these two suck-ups to help him figure it out. "You think it will be Lord Leo?" 

 

“He’s highly unguarded by comparison,” Merci says. “Milord Xander will be leaving the castle with the two of us and an entire unit of soldiers in two days time. It would prove to be an easy distraction, don’t you suppose? An opportunity for an assassin to slip into the castle.” 

 

Niles bites his tongue harder. She’s not wrong, it’s just… “I’ll see what I can find out.” 

 

“That’s all we can ask,” Jean says. “Even if you find nothing, be steadfast and diligent. Prince Leo is strong, but there is only one of you to protect him. Let nothing slip past you.” 

 

Niles clears his throat but he leaves. He wants to get Leo his tea and see him safe more than ever. Plus he's… anxious. He doesn't want to reach out to those old connections. He doesn't even want them to know he's alive. Better yet to let them all think he was executed and forget Zero ever existed. 

 

He takes the silver tray of tea up to Leo’s room shortly after. It’s late, and he pushes the door open with a gentle knock. “Apologies for the delay, milord.” 

 

Leo turns to look at Niles from his window. It’s a door, really, made of glass. It’s wrapped by black metal and intricate paneling, and the handle is an antiqued gold. It leads out onto a balcony that Niles has been on once or twice. He’s undressed for the evening. His shirt is that soft cotton and has that same plunging neckline that Niles keeps swooning over. It’s not even tucked into the trousers he’s wearing, which are also soft and meant to be worn as sleepwear. Leo takes them off when he actually does sleep, Niles knows, because once or twice he’s had the pleasure of arriving before Leo has woken up. His legs are long and tempting when they’re bare. 

 

“How many cups did you bring?” 

 

He clears his throat and looks down at the tray. Two cups, he’s always brought two. Typically because if he breaks one he wants to have a backup. “...Two. Are you expecting company?” He looks too casual to be hosting anyone. Leo shakes his head gently and pushes open the door.

 

“Only you. Won’t you join me?” 

 

Oh. What? Oh. Niles doesn't really process anything while he walks out onto the balcony with Leo. It's big, has a clear view of the sky above them, and there are a small table and chairs. There's also an ornate bench. Niles sets the tray on the table. He means to pour it too, but Leo gently nudges his hands with his own fingers. "Let me." 

 

Well of course he does. He lets Leo take the silver pot from his hands and watches him pour both cups full of the tea. “This is your favorite, I’ve noticed. Why is that?” 

 

Niles can't talk. Why should Leo expect him to? Here he was worried that his liege may be ill when really he was planning a short date on the veranda. There's a smaller table on either side of the cozy bench. It's only meant to seat two, and Leo sets down his cup and saucer there to wrap a thin blanket around his shoulders. "What?" Niles eventually asks. Leo makes a noise that might have been him swallowing a laugh. He shakes his head. 

 

“Will you join me?” He repeats.

 

"If… Yes, milord." What else can he say? Niles takes the cup that was designated for him and sits down on the bench. He leaves space between them because… well, he should. Right? This isn't actually a date. Leo clearly wants to discuss something and means to do it casually. Even so… he breathes in a deep, long breath. The tea  _ is _ his favorite. And so is stargazing. And Leo chose to do both. “Is something wrong?” 

 

“No,” Leo says. He looks at the sky a moment and then he goes on to say, “I’ve been told there will be a star shower tonight. I thought you might enjoy a nice view.” 

 

Nevermind. This is just a date. Niles’s mind blanks for a moment, his heart thuds too fast and too hard and skips enough beats that it begins to ache. “I… appreciate it, milord.” 

 

Leo makes a soft noise of acknowledgment and then there's silence. It's not uncomfortable, but it sort of feels like it should be filled, too. Niles doesn't find any words, though. The sky fills up with shooting stars and even in the silence, Niles's head is swirling with noise. Jean and Merci have reason to believe someone will make an attempt on Leo's life in the coming days. Niles needs to reconnect with people he loathes. Leo asked him to watch the stars with him. It's all on repeat, over and over, until something lands on his arm and his entire body stiffens. 

 

Not just something--Leo's cheek. He dips to the side and squishes into Niles entirely. It only takes a second for Niles to realize the obvious: he's fallen asleep. Has time passed at all? Outside of his own head, Niles supposes it's obvious. His tea is cold and untouched. The stars are still. The air is colder. Leo is going to catch his death out here, actually. He doesn't need to be under the weather if he's going to have to fight for his life in the near future. Niles leaves his teacup and saucer on the bench and shifts to stand. He pulls Leo up into his arms too, like a dead weight, but then he stirs and grumbles at him. 

 

“I can walk,” He says in an unconvincing voice. Surely he can, but Niles missed their entire ‘date’ by letting his mind wander. He carries him into the bedroom if only because he wants to enjoy the feeling of Leo’s head lolling against his chest. 

 

He settles Leo down on his pillows and Leo turns over to sleep without saying another word. That’s probably for the best. Niles walks back out to the balcony to fetch the tray and cups from the tea, but when he comes back inside and closes the door he hears Leo’s voice. It’s soft, almost too low to hear. “Niles,” He says. 

 

“Yes, milord?” 

 

“I can feel your worries.” 

 

Oh. 

 

Yes. Niles can often tell when Leo is highly stressed. He feels it like a twist in his gut, but he always knows it’s his liege’s worries. His soulmate’s worries. He hates to think that Leo is feeling the same thing. 

 

“Get some rest,” Leo mutters. He’s quiet after that, his breathing even and slow. Niles takes his leave. Leo is right. He needs to rest. There will be time to worry another day. 

 

…

 

Niles is on edge the entire week. He makes a decision not to reconnect with anyone in the Undercity. There's no reason to. If he started asking about Leo there would be more agitation than good. He loses  _ sleep _ over that decision. What if that choice is what ultimately leads to Leo’s death? 

 

Leo doesn’t die. The entire week passes without anything abnormal. It’s not until two days before Xander is supposed to return that anything out of the ordinary takes place. A handful of only three soldiers return from a mission that began with an entire force. Xander is with them, in the back of a battered caravan. He’s wounded--incredibly wounded. Nearly dead. 

 

"Jean and Merci are nowhere to be found," Leo says. He's in his study. Not the hidden one, of course. Just the study that Niles often finds him working in. He's not dressed in his armor, but instead pacing around his study in a white shirt tucked into high-waisted riding pants. They were out earlier, training his horse. There is a tear and a scrape in Leo's knee where he took a tumble when his horse threw him. It wasn't really the horse's fault… it was startled by the commotion and trumpets being played to alert the castle of their prince's return. Niles meant to heal it, but Leo won’t stay still.

 

Niles was training, as well. He’s not fond of it, but Leo wants him to learn to shoot from horseback. They came right inside from their training grounds--Niles still has his bow strapped over his shoulder and chest. He folds his arms. 

 

He hates to see Leo this upset, but there’s no point in trying to calm him. Xander could very-well still die, and this ambush was a blatant attack on the royal family. “They’re dead, milord. They would never have abandoned him. No retainer in his right mind would flee when there was a risk to his liege.” 

 

Leo’s eyes snap up to meet Niles’s. There’s a moment, a whole three seconds, in which Niles can actually feel his anxiety. His anger. His disbelief. It’s all a ball twisting far worse than the one in Niles’s gut right now. Leo walks a few more paces, but this time he breaks his pattern and he walks right past Niles to  _ that _ shelf. To  _ that _ book. He pulls back on it and the shelf clicks… and he nods his head inside. 

 

Niles follows him, but this is the first time he’s entered this room with  _ Leo _ . He’s not certain that he’s supposed to even know about it. He has a feeling, based on the look Leo gave him, he’s well aware that Niles knows about it. He follows after him like a dog with his tail between his legs and he waits patiently for Leo to close the door behind them before he starts to speak. He doesn’t get to.

 

“I know you’ve been putting your nose into the affairs of the castle, Niles.” His voice is sharp, his glare is sharper. Niles stands a little straighter. “You’re right, you know. Jean and Merci would never have left my brother’s side. In fact, I would argue that based on the evidence, they were directly targeted.” 

 

“Wait,” Niles exhales. “What?” 

 

“I trust you. With my life, with the lives of everyone in this castle. You are the only person in this entire world I can completely confide in. So you listen to me now, Niles, because I won’t say this again.” 

 

Leo has never spoken so sternly with him. Not even the day they met, the day he was on his knees in front of him waiting to die. Niles thinks he’s  _ shaking _ . He can’t even manage to keep his expression collected and calm. He’s worried. “Yes, Milord,” He whispers softly. 

 

“It is your job to keep me safe and it is within the parameters of your job to put your nose into other peoples’ business. I’m not going to scold you for that. I only want to urge you to  _ use caution _ . Merci spoke too plainly about the happenings in this place and now she and Jean are dead. I'm quite aware that you were meeting privately with them, I'm aware that you are chasing the same trail they were. I have no interest in seeing you die as well. Do not speak out against this castle. Do you understand?" 

 

It’s obvious that something is wrong, though. All the signs point to an ambush; only someone who knew exactly where they would be could have planned it. Their father knew  _ everything _ . Their father knew where Leo would be that first day they were attacked, a year ago. Their father knew where Leo would be during the ambush that nearly took his life. Their father knew where Prince Xander would be, where Jean and Merci would be. It’s painfully clear. He’s killing them, he’s picking off his own children one at a time.

 

Doesn’t Leo see?

 

“But--” 

 

“Hush. I didn’t ask your opinion. I asked you if you understand your orders.” 

 

There’s no compassion in his voice. Leo is… mad. Scared. He’s scared. Niles can feel it small and weak in the pit of his stomach. Leo is terrified of  _ something _ happening to Niles, but he won’t say it. The only way he knows to protect him is to order him to keep his nose out of Garon’s business. Niles wants to argue. The only way to properly protect Leo is to do just the opposite.

 

He loves him. Leo, that is. It's stupid. It's stupid that he's in love with him but it was destined to happen the day they met. Niles fell in love with brown eyes and a ghost of a smile at the corner of Leo's lips. He loves him for how he cares, how he's precise, how irredeemable his sense of fashion is that he can't even be bothered to put his clothes in the proper direction. He loves him, and that's why he wants to protect him. It's not about a dumb bargain they made when he was captured anymore. It's hard to imagine it ever was. 

 

_ But I love you, don’t you see? I have to speak out. I have to find out the truth. _ It’s all on the tip of his tongue, but it’s never going to leave his mouth. He sets his jaw and nods his head once, before looking at the floor. “Yes, Lord Leo.” 

 

Leo doesn’t say another word before he leaves, and Niles stares at the floor a while longer in silence.

 

…

 

Garon can’t be trusted. Niles has figured that out, whether or not he can confide in anyone with it. When Xander awoke he told the story of the ambush and how his retainers gave up their lives to make up for his own foolish mistakes. He blames himself, but there’s no point. He should be blaming his father. 

 

Shortly after the attack, the king announces he will be assigning an additional retainer to each of his children. They all need two soldiers, at all times, to keep them safe. He holds a tournament to determine who will stand at Xander's side, but for Leo…

 

He plucks a stranger out of thin air. 

 

The day Niles meets Odin he decides he’s never going to trust him. He’s never going to make the mistake of liking him--hell, he doesn’t even intend to  _ smile _ in his general direction. He doesn’t look like he belongs to Nohr. It’s like this inner light that comes off of him, burns as the fuel that makes him so  _ obnoxious _ , and really makes it hard to believe he’s lived here for five minutes, let alone any length of time. 

 

Leo seems to agree at first. He doesn't trust him. He sends him on meaningless tasks just to keep him out of their hair while he and Niles work. He's on one such mission now, while Leo and Niles slip down to the Undercity to pick up some ingredients for a spell. 

 

“...Although I have to admit, it’s admirable that he’s come back successful so many times. I wasn’t even sure such a lodestone existed, but he certainly willed it into life.” 

 

Niles glances at Leo while they walk. He’s got Niles’s cloak on, his hood up shading his face. It’s to reduce the chances of anyone recognizing him as the prince. It’s not particularly safe for him down here, after all. “So he made up a name for a rock and presented it to you. Big deal. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him.” 

 

“You see, I thought so too,” Leo admits softly, “But I’m uncertain now. Perhaps he’s more trustworthy than I originally imagined.” 

 

“Or perhaps you’re falling into his trap?” Niles asks. Leo is quiet for a moment. 

 

"I respect your diligence, Niles. I will reserve judgment for now." 

 

_ “Zero? Zero!”  _

 

There’s just a distant voice. Niles almost doesn’t hear it at first, but then they shout again and he hears it as if they screamed it into his ear. He stops walking. Leo stops as well, but only because Niles is having a small heart attack. 

 

Who could it be? He doesn’t want to turn around to find out. Anyone with the nerve to call him by that name is a danger to Niles and an even higher danger to Leo. They call out the name again and Niles glances over his shoulder. A person is approaching, fairly quickly. Just walking. Leo looks past Niles’s shoulder as well, looks directly at the man. Then he reaches out and pulls Niles’s hand into his own. “Come this way,” He urges him. 

 

Niles doesn't think he can move until Leo pulls and his feet move automatically. At first, he's following Leo around a corner but after that, he's  _ sprinting _ and pulling his liege behind him to weave through merchant stands and alleyways until that voice is a thing of the past. 

 

They left him to die. They’re poison, the lot of them. Not a single one deserves to even say his name, let alone lay eyes on Leo in person. They could hurt him.

 

“...iles... _ Niles _ !” Leo’s voice cuts through a fog. Niles isn’t quite sure when he fell back against this wall, but that’s the only thing keeping him on his feet. Leo is in front of him with his eyes clouded over with worry. “Niles, please. You’re not  _ breathing _ .”

 

Is he? That could be why his lungs feel like they're on fire, but when he tries it's too much to bear. It is, that is until Leo combs his fingers into Niles's hair. He slides his fingertips through it from the roots to the ends, he doesn't snag or pull or meet any tangles. His other hand slips up to Niles's forearm, and he squeezes gently. "Niles, look at me." 

 

Niles does look at him. He’s disheveled from their run, the hood isn’t over his head anymore. He’s panting too, probably from the sprint, but he’s breathing just fine. Somehow, it seems like just listening to him breathe makes it easier for Niles to do so as well. Niles takes a breath. Then another. One at a time until they’re slower, and Leo’s voice is all he can hear over the pounding of his heart once it starts beating again. 

 

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Leo assures him like he actually has any idea who that was or what Niles is worrying over. There's everything to be afraid of. Even still, Leo continues petting his hair and speaking just over a whisper. "That isn't your name anymore, Niles, and so long as I draw breath your past can never hurt you." 

 

He’s cheating. These touches, the tone of his voice. Leo’s figured out how to use the magic of soulmates to his advantage. The unexplained calmness Niles can feel in his presence. This isn’t the first time he’s done it. The tone of his voice when he last lectured Niles was also a touch of that magic. 

 

Niles shakes his head slowly after the seconds tick away. "I… I should apologize." 

 

"I absolutely forbid it," Leo mutters. "Come along, then. Let's go home." 

 

…

 

“Where is he?” Niles asks with a shout. He’s pushing past guards and a concerned maid.

 

“Niles!” Leo shouts after him. He doesn’t leave his spot, though, only makes a noise somewhere caught between a groan and perhaps death. He’s having his wrist patched up by a butler with a staff. It’s broken. By the time they’re done mending it, it will be nothing at all. 

 

Odin is not far off. He's more banged up than Leo. He insisted that Leo be treated first, and he's pacing the hall. When Niles finds him he looks like hell. He's wearing tattered clothes and his whole side is a shade not unlike Niles's shirt. Good. It makes an easy target when Niles winds up his fist and punches him. 

 

He staggers back with a shout and hits the wall. From there he slides down to the ground, and he knows better than to get back up. Good. Niles stands over him and struggles just to resist the urge to spit. “You led him  _ right into danger _ .” 

 

“Niles--” 

 

“What kind of idiot wanders off in the Woods of the Forlorn, huh? You’re a dumbass. You could have gotten him killed!” 

 

“Niles..!” 

 

“Shut up.” 

 

…

 

It’s not that he’s proud of himself for treating Odin like that. They’re supposed to be partners, to work closely together and mutually protect Leo. It’s just that Niles felt like he was going to throw up  _ all day _ . He could feel Leo’s pain. The tension leading up to the snap of his bone, it was all a growing, twisting knot in Niles’s stomach that he could do nothing about. And when he found out the reason why is because Odin led him thoughtlessly into danger? 

 

Well, at the time it sounded exactly like a trap. A plan. Odin was assigned to Leo by Garon and Niles  _ knows _ that man wants his children dead. He just doesn’t know why. So how in the world can Odin ever be trusted? 

 

Since then… well, he’s spent the rest of his day with Leo. He found out what actually  _ happened _ versus what the rumors were passing around. Odin didn't wander off, he claimed to sense an ambush. He and Leo split off from the rest of the troops because Leo trusted his judgment and… well, Leo broke his arm when a Faceless whipped it with a chain, but Odin took the brunt of the damage.

 

And there was, in fact, an ambush. Several soldiers lost their lives. Those who returned were all startled to see Leo alive and well. Odin saved his life today, broke his ribs and half the rest of his body in the process, and the praise he got was Niles’s rage. 

 

Niles is a little ashamed of himself, but he’s still mad. Leo told him what happened, but he’s still mad.

 

Why did Leo take Odin out on a mission like this and ask Niles to stay behind? If he had been there none of this would have happened, he’s sure of it. And even if it had, he could have used his spells to heal Leo sooner. He’s been  _ practicing _ . 

 

When Odin finds him it’s not surprising. He’s not sneaky about it. He slips out into the courtyard where Niles is pacing and he clears his throat. “I’ve come to apologize,” he says.

 

Niles turns to look at him like he’s crazy. Because, well, he is. Niles is the one who misjudged him, who attacked him, who went out of his way to wound his pride.  _ Niles _ was wrong. He’s aware of it. “Lord Leo already told me that you did nothing wrong.” 

 

"I see," Odin says, "But that's not true. If I had been more diligent not even a shred of harm would have come to our prince. It is my responsibility as a chosen one to dedicate myself to become better." 

 

Niles huffs. “Sorry.” It’s probably the best Odin will get out of him, anyway. Niles is still bitter about it. “I wasn’t there. I’m not used to being left behind.” 

 

Odin looks a little better now. His side isn’t purple. He’s got some bandages wrapped around his chest, and one of his arms is pinned to it, but he doesn’t seem to be in pain. He must not be, to have wandered all the way out here just to make peace with  _ Niles _ of all people. 

 

“My father was the most magnificent tactician the world has ever known,” Odin says. Niles rolls his eyes.

 

“I suppose you’ll tell me that’s how you saw that ambush coming, hmm?” 

 

Odin blinks at him. "What? No. That was the instinct of a hero. What I meant to say is that he once told me the greatest way to know your soldiers is to work alongside them. Perhaps the reason Leo asked you to stay behind is that this was his way of studying how he and I can work together."

 

Niles swallows, but he doesn’t say anything. That sounds perfectly rational, but he has no interest in hearing the reasons why Leo would leave him behind like that. He already knows. But even if Leo wanted to work alongside Odin to learn more about him, even if he was testing him, he should have taken Niles. He  _ knew _ how Niles felt about Odin. He doesn’t like him. He doesn’t like that he’s pushing his way into Leo’s life, either. They used to mock him when he was off on errands, but as the weeks move by Leo seems to be learning to  _ like _ him. 

 

Or maybe Niles is just a little jealous in general, but he doesn’t want to think about that. 

 

“I understand how you feel, friend. I can only imagine how terrible the day was for you.” 

 

Niles’s attention snaps back up to Odin’s stupid face. “What?” 

 

“To not be with your soulmate when he needs you. When you know he’s hurting, when you know he needs help. It’s like being breathless, like a piece of you is missing, like you can’t even  _ think _ straight until you see him again safe and sound…” 

 

Niles’s heart drops into his stomach. Odin is talking about  _ soulmates _ ? 

 

“...Of course, I’m certain it manifests differently for everyone. I’ve always felt like I couldn’t breathe, like no matter how much I tried there was no air in the room to take in. But I’m told some people feel it as nausea or headaches, and others yet as physical pain…”

 

Niles doesn’t bother asking about Odin’s supposed soulmate. He doesn’t even properly bother to think about the idea that he knows so much about it. He just raises up his hand to interrupt him. “Wait, stop.” 

 

Odin closes his mouth and stops, patiently. 

 

“Leo  _ told you _ he’s my soulmate?” 

 

Odin smiles at him. It's wide and bright and grossly optimistic. Warm even. Niles hates it. Maybe because at that moment, it almost seems smug. "Yes," Odin says, "He did." 

 

Leo said he never wanted anyone to know. He can still hear him say it when he thinks about it.  _ Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I am not in love with you. _

 

If he never wanted Niles to tell anyone it doesn't make much sense for him to tell Odin. And even if he were in the market of telling people, it doesn't make sense for him to tell someone he doesn't trust. The likely connection there is that Leo has decided to trust Odin, that he hasn't reserved his judgment for long. 

 

Niles doesn’t have to trust him yet, though. 

 

It’s just that if he does trust Odin, and he did confide in him that Niles is his soulmate, he surely had a reason  _ why _ right? Perhaps it was an innocent conversation. Maybe he asked Odin about his home life and Odin answered with a story about his own soulmate. Something that caused Leo to want to divulge that information casually. 

 

But  _ why _ ? 

 

Leo didn't want Niles to tell anyone he was his soulmate because he wasn't in love with Niles. That is very certain. Maybe if he told Odin that he's his soulmate, it's because something has changed? Niles can think very clearly to the day that Leo held him in his arms and shooed away his worries in the streets of the Undercity. He can look back on that day out on the balcony during the star shower. The signs are there, but what is Niles supposed to do with that information? 

 

Niles is a nobody off the street who didn’t even have a name, and Leo is the most important man in this entire world. He’s a prince of Nohr. He’s never openly had any interest in Niles before, and even if he did it can’t happen. He needs someone better than Niles. 

 

His throat is dry but he manages not to croak when he speaks up. “Don’t spread that around. What I did today has nothing to do with that. Lord Leo is my liege, and nothing more. Don’t slip up again.” 

 

Odin’s eyes soften and concern sparks over his face. Niles turns on his heel and leave. He hears Odin call out after him, but he doesn’t want to hear what he has to say. Odin thinks he knows him. He thinks he understands what he feels? How can he? Odin doesn’t know a damn thing about how impossible a relationship between a prince and a lowlife like Niles is. 

 

Niles knows, though. That's why he decides, in that moment, that he would rather face his fears and reopen his connections with the Undercity. He would rather take a risk himself because at this point he needs all the dirt he can get on  _ anyone _ who steps foot into Leo’s life.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Niles only has so much love to give. He’s lost too much, been burned too many times before. His heart is scarred and simply not strong enough to stretch anymore. Right now, considering he’s so hopelessly in love with Prince Leo… Odin Dark will just have to suck it up and settle on being sort-of-work-friends. 

 

The trouble is that everything has been quiet. Odin met Niles two years ago. In two, long years… very little has happened. The most alarming thing is that Leo’s other sibling, Corrin, has suddenly become a more relevant part of their lives. That all unfolded in the last month, actually. 

 

Niles supposes he knew that Leo was visiting Corrin. There were times when all of the royal siblings went to visit them, and there were days when Niles wasn’t invited to be a part of it. He doesn’t care about Corrin one way or another. Or, that is, he  _ didn’t _ care about Corrin one way or another. But now Corrin is nowhere to be found, has decided to cut ties with  _ both _ of their families, and Leo is perpetually bothered by it. 

 

He’s worried about his sibling. He would worry the same over Elise or Xander or Camilla. He wants to know where they went, if they’re safe, if they’re turning traitor… and Niles is regretful knowing he can’t answer any of those questions. But he  _ can _ investigate some recent attacks.

 

And, in fact, he is. Odin is with him. Leo keeps sending them out together, lately. He wants them to be friends, maybe. They get along well enough, so this is all just some kind of punishment probably. Or a scheme. 

 

Odin’s scheme, no doubt. Niles is certain now that Leo cares for him in similar ways that he does, but they won’t act on it. Neither of them will be the first to say it. Maybe neither of them will ever say it. Or, that would be the case, if not for the fact that Odin won’t stop talking about it. 

 

So here they are, casually riding on horseback, each of them, and finishing their short journey to the little farm town of Meviet. There’s nothing particularly special about Meviet. It’s barely on the map. There have been complaints from Meviet and neighboring farms that Faceless are rampaging there, but that doesn’t seem to make sense. They’re far from the Woods of the Forlorn and the sort of mages powerful enough to create faceless aren’t easy to come by. Odin is looking at Niles like he’s the one that’s exhausted with this argument. 

 

“You shouldn’t hide it! The strength of love is one that cannot be matched—the two of you are stronger together rather than apart.” 

 

“Odin,” Niles groans, “There are no feelings. Not all soulmates are meant to be lovers. My attachment to Leo is as his servant, nothing more. It would be a pleasant surprise if you were to drop this.” 

 

“But it’s so obvious!” 

 

Well, maybe a pleasant surprise was simply wishful thinking. Niles rolls his eye away from the horizon and to settle on Odin’s. His are bright, green, not typical to Nohr. Full of secrets but easy to read. It’s the most interesting thing about him. Odin has secrets under secrets under secrets. Niles is certain he’s figured out some. Although he tries not to make it obvious, he spends too much time sneaking around with Selena and Laslow for it not to be clear they’re all old friends. That only serves to make Niles suspicious, because none of them were appointed as retainers at the same time. They planned that. Niles can only imagine one of them is his soulmate, seeing as how he claims to have one and seems to be in a committed relationship. After all, the way he spoke that day when he and Niles argued… implied he wasn’t new to his feelings. 

 

Niles can’t prove that. He has trouble proving much of anything. Odin’s eyes tell that he’s keeping secrets but they don’t tell what the secrets are. They don’t explain any of these mixed signals. Maybe Odin has better luck reading between the lines. “Is that so?” He asks, waiting to be impressed.

 

“It is so!” Odin scoffs. “Well anyone with eyes knows he favors you. He keeps you working close at hand and shelters you from menial tasks. Even if those meant nothing, I apologize to be the bearer of irrefutable evidence, but when Lord Leo looks at you he has  _ stars _ in his eyes.” 

 

Niles lets out a tiny breath. Or maybe it’s a laugh, underneath the sigh, but it feels nice. Warm and sweet, for a moment, to just imagine that Lord Leo loves him. Maybe he wants him just as much. Maybe his fingers twitch when their hands accidentally brush. Maybe his heart picks up when he looks into Niles’s eye. He did say that was his favorite shade of blue.

 

“Thank you for that riveting tale, Odin,” Niles mumbles, “But even if all of that were true, it’s not practical or acceptable for a prince to fall in love with his retainer. And even less practical when that retainer is someone whose social class is so low that he could arguably be labeled as scum.” 

 

“Excuse you!” Odin puffs out his chest and his eyes narrow. There’s a spark in them while he goes on to say “You’re not scum! And it’s not  _ that _ uncommon for a prince to fall in love with someone of less than noble blood. Rules always have exceptions!” 

 

“Oh really now? And just how would you know that?” 

 

Odin swallows his words. His cheeks turn pink and he settles back onto his horse. “I wouldn’t!” He squeaks. One of these days Niles is going to figure out what it is that Odin is hiding. For now, he will just have to trust that Odin means no harm to their liege… because his attention is drawn away from his company.

 

The sky is dark here, and thick with smoke. The heat presses against his skin and nearly makes him sweat. Niles dismounts the horse and loops the reins around a post that he thinks was once the sign designating this place as Meviet. 

 

“What happened here?” Odin asks, needlessly. It’s clear what happened here from the sight alone. Remains of houses are smoldering, blackness is pouring up into the sky, and the air is thick with the stench of burnt flesh. Niles’s lips twitch down into a tight frown. 

 

“Look over there.” He points to the stray, monstrous form of a faceless. It’s dragging a chain behind it, and caught in the chain is the remains of  _ a woman _ . She’s missing half her arm and she looks dead enough, but she starts to spasm and flail and the two of them watch in horror while the monster reaches out and rips the head clean off her body. It grunts and goes down in a scream of pain while lightning crackles down over it. Odin’s lightning, too little too late. 

 

Odin is often a ball of smiles and sunshine, but standing in a town razed by death and monsters, there’s something solemn about him. His eyes look glossy but also focused. “We should separate. We’ll find any survivors faster that way.” 

 

“There aren’t likely to be survivors,” Niles doesn’t think they made it in time. He watches Odin walk off to one direction and he goes the other way. It’s the peace from Odin’s pestering that he wanted, but he didn’t want it to come at the cost of so many lives. The air isn’t easy to take in here. Each breath is heavy, thick, coated with soot. Just in the short time since they arrived Niles is already filthy, his arms coated in a thin layer of grime from the air. 

 

The further into the little town he gets the worse it is. He has to step over bodies in the streets. Some of them have what must have been buckets and pots in their hands. Others have knives or shovels to be used as makeshift weapons. This town asked for help more than once, and they didn’t receive it. Not in time anyway. 

 

There's a shrill noise in the air. At first, Niles thinks it must be some sort of animal—a cat injured maybe. After that, he hears a lower noise. Maybe a cry instead. His head snaps in the direction the sound came from. The house is still smoldering. The wood is blackened with orange and red embers inside of it, burning it to its core. Niles ducks inside and the door falls off its hinges behind him. 

 

That’s all the warning he gets before half of the ceiling collapses. The second floor of the house and all of its furniture falls down on him, and Niles dives for the open doorway. He barely makes it out in time, his heart is racing… and when he turns back around, there is still debris falling down from the hole in the ceiling. “Holy hell,” Niles whispers. 

 

He almost died! Whatever was in this house surely did, too, and he thinks it’s about time for him to take his leave when he hears coughing just in the next room. His heart leaps into his throat. “ _ Odin!”  _ He shouts out the door, loud as he can, but then he presses onward into the house. Someone is  _ alive _ . Maybe they can tell him what happened?

 

He finds the source of the noise in the kitchen. Pinned down on the floor by some collapsed beams and wood still hot with embers, an elderly woman is choking on the smoke in the house. It’s thicker in here, and Niles looks up to see that the back exit to the house has been blocked by debris. 

 

“Are you alright?” He asks numbly. She’s not alright. He doesn’t know with any certainty if they can save her. She’s propped up awkwardly on her elbows, face down to the floor. Like she’s trying to crawl out from under the pile of wood, but she’s not  _ moving.  _ She’s not trying. 

 

Niles crouches in front of her and starts to push light magic into her. Healing magic. Haphazardly, without a stave on him, but she gasps and waves her hand. "Don't bother!" She cries. Her voice is a sob, like the pain is searing through every syllable. He looks at her better and realizes that's for good reason. Her entire leg is bleeding out into a thick puddle behind the pile of wood overtop her. It's not attached. 

 

“Odin!” He calls out again, but there’s not much Odin can do but help Niles dig her out. He redirects his attention to the woman. “What can I do?” 

 

She shifts and it startles him. He doesn’t expect her to find so much energy to move her entire body like that, but she sits up and he realizes why she was perched up on her elbows to start with. She’s got a little baby hidden underneath her. “Take her someplace safe.” 

 

Is she  _ alive _ ? Niles hesitantly reaches for the baby. She’s not in good shape by any means. Dirty, there’s soot lining her lips, and she’s certainly not crying. She’s just sleeping. Or fainted. He’s never held one of these before, but he lays her up on his shoulder. 

 

“My son and his wife couldn’t fight them off,” the elderly woman chokes out. Is her skin getting paler? Niles sets his jaw. “There was nowhere to run; I tried to keep Nina safe. If she had to die, a death by fire seemed less gruesome.” 

 

Less than letting a faceless rip apart a child? Niles can't say he disagrees. He pushes himself up to his feet. "Odin and I will come back for you." He backs up a few steps, then turns to slip back out into the collapsed room. When he looks back over his shoulder at her, it's clear that woman is already dead. Going back for her is pointless. "Damn," Niles whispers.

 

Getting out of the house is a challenge on its own when his hands are full. Once he’s out in the open air it’s still too thick with smoke to really breathe. He thinks this kid probably needs fresh air… and so he does his best not to trip over bodies while he sprints back to their horses. 

 

The air is a little clearer here, but Niles is still worried. This little girl is small. A year old, if that. He picks her up under her arms and pulls her belly to his ear just to listen for breathing. She’s wheezing, softly. Too softly. 

 

“Niles!” Odin calls. He’s rushing towards him from the town. Niles ignores him for a moment to wipe off the baby’s face and try to get some water in her throat. She swallows it… but she sure doesn’t wake up. When Odin approaches he looks a touch devastated. “She’s alive?” 

 

“Barely,” Niles mumbles. He props her back up against his shoulder. She’s so small there—are babies even real? Her head fits there against his collar and he can hear her wheezing while he pushes magic into her skin to heal… anything it will let him. He doesn’t have a staff but that won’t stop him from trying. Since the day Leo got hurt he’s been practicing this magic… and if it can’t save the life of something this small then what’s the point?

 

Niles has seen children die before. It’s never fair. Kids haven’t had a chance to do anything wrong yet, just try to survive. This one probably can’t even walk yet. What did she ever do to anyone? 

 

But maybe she’ll be alright. Maybe this magic will work. Maybe he won’t let her family down. Then again, if she lives she’ll be an orphan. No family to her name, no home or place to go. Which fate is worse?

 

He doesn't have an opportunity to think about it. She starts crying. Wailing, really, loud and clear and as she does she hacks and coughs and spits. Odin turns around and fetches a thin blanket from the saddlebag on his horse. He passes it to Niles and he wraps her up in it… and then ties it around his shoulder like a sling. She's still crying—angry, failing—but she's  _ alive _ . That’s for sure. 

 

The sling is probably secure but Niles keeps his hand under her back, rubs it gently. Odin looks down at her a moment longer before he looks back out over the town. "Did you find any other survivors?" He asks. 

 

“No.” That old woman is dead. Niles turns and unties his horse, and then he steps cautiously back into the saddle. “We need to report this to Lord Leo.” 

 

“Who could have done this?” Odin asks. 

 

Well, probably Garon. Although it doesn’t check out this time. Garon knew that Leo wouldn’t be joining Odin or Niles today. The ambush also happened before they even arrived. Maybe, for once, it wasn’t him? Which urges a new question to the surface: was it ever him? Surely it has to be, right?

 

Odin climbs on his horse and they ride in silence for some time. Eventually, the baby girl calms down and lays calmly against Niles's chest. She peeks up at him and occasionally he glances down to see if she's fallen asleep yet. Not yet. She's just watching him. 

 

How do babies work? Is she old enough to know what happened? Surely she recognizes that he’s not one of her family members. 

 

They’re nearly back to the castle when Odin asks, “Do you know her name?” 

 

Niles is startled. It takes him a while to realize he’s even asking about this baby. He’s been lost in thoughts for so long, zoning out after a terrible experience. He should be lucky Odin has been alert enough to keep the horses on the right path. “Before she died the old woman said her name was Nina.” 

 

“What… are you going to do with this little Lady Nina?” Odin asks cautiously.

 

Niles's lips twist into a frown. "I think it's best to find out what Leo thinks we should do with her. I trust his judgment." 

 

…

 

When the gates to Krakenburg open up for them, Prince Leo is waiting for them there. Warmth spreads under Niles’s skin and sweeps over him just looking at him. He’s beautiful, waiting patiently for them. He’s dressed in his armor but he looks gentle. Relieved. “Niles, Odin, I’ve been worried.” 

 

No doubt. Niles nearly died when that building fell down on him. Leo probably felt his panic tenfold and worried over it knowing there was nothing he could do to help prevent Niles from being hurt. He doesn't dwell on that, though, because Leo's eyes drop immediately to the baby still strapped to Niles's chest. 

 

“What… happened,” Leo says slowly. Cautiously. He turns and begins walking back into the castle, but Niles stays in step at his side. Odin takes his other side and Leo keeps glancing anxiously behind him to look at the weight in Niles’s arms. 

 

“The village was completely ablaze, milord!” Odin says. “Faceless destroyed it. There were no survivors.” 

 

"Well, one survivor," Niles clarifies. A pair of guards pulls open the doors to the castle and the marble tile clicks under their shoes while they walk. "And the dying wish of an old woman." 

 

"I see." Leo hesitates in his steps and turns to face them. Well, mostly Niles and the baby girl. Odin is less relevant at that moment, when their liege says, "We can feed and bathe her for the night, and a maid can take her to an orphanage in town tomorrow." 

 

Huh.

 

Yeah, that's the sensible answer. Niles wanted to wait for Leos judgment because he was certain that he would know the most rational thing to do. That said… He doesn't like it. Rational, yes, but… "Perhaps I should look after her until we're certain she's healthy." 

 

Leo sucks in a quiet breath. “Niles, you don’t know the first thing about child rearing, do you?” 

 

"Well, I'm not really talking about something permanent." Niles  _ doesn’t _ know the first thing about children. Leo is right. Niles doesn’t even know what to feed this thing, only that she’s probably getting hungry. She’s certainly squirmy. 

 

“Then why would you prefer to watch her over a maid? What difference does it make to you?” 

 

“I told that woman I would keep her granddaughter safe, milord.” Niles watches Odin’s cheeks puff up and then flatten out as he blows a stream of air out of his mouth. He clears his throat. “I think it’s only right that I make sure she’s not injured or ill before I dump her into an orphanage to starve with the rest of the children no one cares about.” 

 

Odin puts a touch of distance between himself and Leo. Leo, in turn, looks completely startled. At first, his eyes get wide. Then they narrow just a touch as anger sets in. Niles… shouldn't have said that. He knows it. It's a constant issue in Nohr that they can't feed their own people, and it's one of the issues Leo is most passionate about. But Leo says "Fine, if you would prefer to watch over her for a little while then you may." 

 

Niles won the argument, but it doesn’t feel like he won.

 

…

 

Porridge. She eats porridge and crackers and anything she can chew up with her limited teeth. She’ll drink juice and milk and even water without being made to, but she doesn’t like to be fussed over. The maid who taught Niles all this said she’s probably just under a year old. She sits up on her own and crawls, but she’s still getting used to standing on two feet. She’ll pull herself up using his bed as support, but then she topples back down onto her bottom shortly after.

 

Niles thinks he’s smiled more in two days watching her than he has in his whole life. 

 

Other than needing help with her diaper changes and being rocked to sleep, she’s a very independent little girl. She likes to sit and play with whatever she can get her hands on. He’s seen her crawl across the room to pick up something that caught her eye. (Once it was a knife, and Niles had a small heart attack. Who gave him permission to keep a baby in his room? He has no idea what he was thinking.) She eats her finger foods and tries to feed herself her porridge and she drinks out of a bottle all on her own. 

 

She’s a smart little thing. 

 

Niles worried she wouldn't sleep through the night but she does. She naps midway through the day and sleeps all night and she's very… calm. Maybe she's still recovering from the fire because Niles is certain babies are supposed to be more difficult than this. Then again, she’s not an infant. Maybe the hard part is behind her.

 

Nina is seated on a blanket flapped out on the floor of his room when Leo arrives. She’s stacking some wooden blocks that Niles fished out of an old storage closet. Niles has already been relieved of his duties for the day, but he imagines Leo must want something to have come all the way to his room. He pulls the door open and steps aside for him. “Milord,” He greets him.

 

Leo nods his head. “Niles.” He steps inside and looks right down at Nina. “She seems much more lively than she did when she arrived.” 

 

She’s much more talkative. She babbles and wants to play and whines for food or drink. Niles hums. “She’s doing much better. Ate twice as much today as yesterday.” 

 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Leo is quiet a moment after that. “Niles, what are you planning to  _ do _ about this?” 

 

This talk has been coming to him for two days but Niles doesn’t know how to word the answer. While he tries to figure it out, Leo takes a few steps closer to Nina. He must be a lot less scary looking when he’s not wearing his armor. In a puffy shirt and plain pants, that is, he looks a lot more like Niles does. (Or, to a baby, any other adult man.) She lifts up her tiny little arms to be held and Leo, to Niles’s surprise, bends down and scoops her right up. 

 

Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised. Nina squeals with delight and starts babbling at him like she’s having a conversation, and Leo positions her weight on his waist to balance her. The first thing that little girl does is reach up and try to steal the headband right off his head… and Leo lets her do it. He even tilts his head down so she can reach it, and he only winces for a second when she accidentally pulls his hair along with it. 

 

Leo has always been far softer than the walls he puts up are. Niles  _ knows that _ , but he’s still surprised to see him look so comfortable with a little girl he’s barely met. His lips curl up into the softest, sweetest smile and Leo watches Nina try to figure out the scientific theory behind how the black headpiece works.

 

This is a direct attack on Niles's wellbeing. For a solid ten seconds, Niles is just  _ staring _ . Maybe he was wrong when he thought his heart wasn’t big enough for more than one person. 

 

Leo really has no business coming into his room and bouncing her on his hip like this. He sways with her to make her giggle and his lips curl into a wider smile with every tiny laugh. It’s like  _ magic. _ Then their eyes meet and Leo clears his throat and looks down at the floor. “That is, what I mean to say is I know that you’ve taken her on as your responsibility. I would like to know what your intentions for her are.” 

 

Nina throws the headband onto the floor in a dramatic show. Then she cuddles her head against Leo’s shoulder. Niles watches Leo’s face shift through a handful of emotions at once before he settles on laying his cheek against her head. Niles can’t blame him for being wooed by her. She’s a very cute little girl. She’s even cuter when she’s cuddled up with Leo. 

 

Niles bends down and picks up the black band. He holds it in his hands and fiddles with it for a moment, before he walks closer and puts it back into Leo’s hair. 

 

It almost seems like Leo should get a say in the matter. It’s absurd to think of it like that, but he  _ is  _ Niles's soulmate. Niles is so very seriously considering taking this girl into his life permanently and trying to make sure her life turns out better than his ever was. Leo is his soulmate, that makes him… a fairly influential part of Niles’s choice to have a child. 

 

Or, well, it would if they were an item. But they’re not. They’re not an item and even if they were it wouldn’t matter. Since the day he met Leo Niles has been given so much, and now he finally has a chance to use that gift to do something good. 

 

“I want to keep an eye on her,” He says quietly. He wants to keep her, that is, but she’s not a dog. Leo seems to understand anyway. He straightens himself up a little bit and nods his head at Niles. 

 

“I knew the day I met you that you were destined for something great. If you’re up to the task of watching over this child then I trust you to do what’s best for her.” The end of his sentence is broken up by a bit of surprise when Nina squirms to get free from his arms. Leo sets her back down on the floor and she goes right back to playing with her blocks. He smiles at her… and then when he turns to look back at Niles that smile is still planted firmly on those pretty lips. “I’ll have to arrange for different quarters for you, so she might have her own room.” 

 

Is it really as simple as that? Niles hasn’t really thought about her having her own room. He hasn’t thought about her growing up or changing or really being anything more than the little clumsy girl she is right now. He almost loses his nerve, but the Leo reaches out and squeezes his arm. Just like he’s done before, gentle and slow. He doesn’t stop there this time, though.

 

Leo pulls down on Niles’s arm and Niles finds that resisting it is impossible. He bends to meet Leo and their lips come together in a kiss before Niles can think better of it. The crazy thing about this kiss is that Leo knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s not acting under some other influence, he’s not jostled by the uniqueness of the situation. He pulls his lips back a second after the kiss begins… but then he changes his mind and kisses Niles again. This time a little longer, this time a little deeper.

 

Stars more beautiful than any galaxy burst behind Niles's eyes. The only reason Leo pulls away this second time is that Nina starts giggling like she's never seen something funnier in her life. When Niles looks down at her she has a smile spread out wide on her face. 

 

“She’s sweet,” Leo says. The end of his sentence is cut off by Niles leaning down and catching him in one more kiss… but that’s the one that breaks the spell. Niles kissing Leo is the reason his regrets catch up to him. It was cute for thirty seconds. Pretending like they were some kind of family, that is. It was fun. But Niles is here to take care of Nina, to keep her safe, not to play house. More than that, he’s still here to keep Leo safe. Even from himself. 

 

Leo's smile falls off his face. It turns into a frown and his lips press together after he says "You've got something on your mind." He must feel it. The same discomfort Niles has is reflected into Leo's mind through the bond they share. Niles can barely figure out how to speak.

 

This was easier before they kissed. “You know… that I can’t do this to you.” 

 

Leo’s eyes narrow again. “You say that like you think you’re  _ inflicting _ something upon me. I think it’s obvious the way I feel about you by now, and I’m certain you feel the same way too.” 

 

Niles doesn’t say anything. He counts five seconds before Leo sucks in a breath through his nose and sighs. He doesn’t say anything else, just turns and leaves the room for the night. He clicks the door shut gently behind him. 

 

Niles's lips are numb with how much they're tingling. He's never been kissed by his soulmate before, so of course, there's a spark to it. But he's also never been touched or kissed so  _ gently _ before. When Leo touches him it’s the touch of someone who loves him. Odin is right. It’s very obvious. 

 

…

 

Within a week Leo arranges for a different room for Niles. One that’s more like a suite, that has a smaller room for Nina to grow into. His room is a little bigger now, too. It’s almost lonely, in a weird way. Like he’s moved into a place where there should be a whole family, and he’s missing part of it. 

 

Or maybe he feels that way because he and Leo still haven’t talked about that kiss. Every day Niles just does his job as he always does, Leo does his duties as he always does, and Odin looks at them like they’re crazy and tries to figure out what’s going on. No one talks about it. Niles doesn’t think they’re going to talk about it. They’ve gone this long without talking about their feelings anyway. Besides, even if they  _ wanted _ to talk about their feelings, time slips between their fingers like water or sand and before they know it they’re being sent to war. 

 

Xander and Leo have decided together, that is. They want to believe Corrin’s word and meet them at the Bottomless Canyon. Niles has barely had a moment to decide how he feels about that when Leo reaches out and touches him for the first time since that kiss. Niles looks down where his hand wraps firmly around his wrist. One step, then another, he follows Leo until they’re hidden away in that secret study of his. It’s the only place they can talk without being heard in this forsaken place. 

 

“I know that you won’t be thrilled with this, but I don’t want you bringing Nina,” Leo says. Niles isn’t thrilled with that, he’s right. What else is he supposed to do?

 

“I can handle—“ 

 

“Niles, I know that you can take care of her, that’s not the issue. I’m worried this may be a trap and I don’t want her getting hurt. I’m not her parent—you are—but if you’re willing to let me I’ll arrange a safe place for her to stay with some maids until we can return.” 

 

Huh. A weird, gross feeling settles in Niles’s stomach. Not because Leo’s plan isn’t a good one. He actually thinks it’s the best option. If they can keep Nina safe from war, traps, and Leo’s mad father… that would be ideal. No, the feeling that settles on him like nausea is actually guilt. 

 

Leo isn’t Nina’s parent. He said it like he’s not invited, and maybe he’s not. Niles is going to be Nina’s parent. Niles can’t let himself be with Leo. Therefore… Niles is selfishly eliminating Nina’s opportunity to have another parent. And it’s a shame, really, because he still thinks about how sweet they looked together last time, and how Nina squealed and giggled when he bounced her on his hip. 

 

“You’re right,” He says, quietly. Leo’s expression melts into relief.

 

“Good. I’ll make preparations. Oh, and Niles,” Leo says. Then he hesitates. “Actually… never mind that.” 

 

He turns like he’s going to leave and Niles wonders what it is he was going to say. Would he have brought up that kiss they’re still pretending didn’t happen? He needs to apologize. It’s not his place to tell Leo what he can and can’t have. “Milord,” He speaks up. Leo turns back to look at him.

 

Their eyes meet and the world is right for a few quiet heartbeats. Niles wonders if he’s just prolonging their path to happiness by keeping his mouth shut. 

 

He prolongs it a little longer. “Thank you.” 

 

Leo smiles and nods his head. “You’re welcome, Niles.” 

 

…

 

This is the absolute worst idea anyone has ever had. Who does Corrin think they are? First, they go out of their way to lead two opposing armies together, then they have the audacity to order them to jump into the Bottomless Canyon. It's a death trap. Half of the army has already jumped, too, like morons blindly following. Xander and Ryoma were among the first, which is the most troubling because Niles knows that Xander has a good head on his shoulders and he  _ also _ knows that Leo respects his authority. They took their soldiers and retainers with them in a literal leap of faith, and Odin has been tapping his foot anxiously ever since. “Milord, I’m certain this isn’t a trap,” Odin says. 

 

“Oh? Have you ever jumped into a bottomless pit before and lived to tell the tale?” Niles asks. Obviously, his initial disapproval of Odin has faded. They get along. They're almost even friends. That said, jumping down a pit to their deaths sounds exactly like the sort of thing 2-years-ago Odin would have suggested.

 

Odin shakes his head no. “Of course not! But I have followed fate through her most fearsome trials. I’m certain this will be safe!” 

 

“Please, both of you, I can’t hear myself think.” Leo pushes his fingers into his temples like maybe he could just impale his forehead instead of making this decision. He’s worried. The lives of his retainers, as well as his own, are on the line. Niles can feel it in the back of his mind like a dull ache. Leo’s stress, that is.

 

“I know it sounds crazy, but it must be fate! What are we, if we are too afraid to believe?” 

 

“Sensible,” Niles suggests. Odin wrinkles his nose. 

 

“Odin,” Leo says in a voice far calmer than he looks. “I simply want to have a more clear understanding before we do anything rash. Niles,” he turns his head to look at Niles when he adds, “Please, go fetch Corrin for me. I trust them, of course, but I have my share of concerns as well.” 

 

“Yes, milord.” Niles takes a little bow. Their eyes meet on his way back up, and Niles wonders… when he should properly apologize. Leo is right. Niles is his retainer, not his mother. Leo can decide when and whom he wants to love, and Niles shouldn’t deny fate. (Odin has lectured him enough.) If they’re meant to have a secret romance that the world never knows about, or if Leo is meant to be part of this family Niles accidentally created with Nina, they should figure it out together. 

 

Besides, he’s sick of Leo putting up a wall. He’s the strongest man Niles knows, but he’s still only human. When this is over, Niles thinks, he’ll certainly tell him that. All of it. Maybe if he gets on his knees and apologizes, Leo will forgive him for telling him no. 

 

He turns to face Corrin and starts walking. He’s only taken a few steps. Just half the distance to where Scarlet is fiddling with something on her chest plate and Corrin is watching everyone else jump to their maybe-deaths. But then his body feels tense. Anxiety fills him up from head to toe, maybe overflows out of him, and he hears Leo shout in time with it. It only takes a breath for him to realize it’s a spike of pure, raw  _ fear _ running through his soulmate. 

 

“Odin! Wait!” Leo shouts, and Niles turns in time to see him run to the edge of the canyon to try and pull Odin away from it. Odin looks like he’s trying to demonstrate that it’s safe, not that he wants to jump… but a rock crumbles under his foot. He grips Leo’s wrist. Leo falls down into the pit with him. 

 

“Leo,” Niles whispers. Maybe croaks, he can feel it in his throat but he can’t hear it. He’s running—was already running—but all he sees is Leo disappearing out of sight the further he falls. “ _ Leo!”  _ Niles shouts louder, but he can’t stop it. It already happened. He wants to believe he’s fine, everything is fine, no one is dying down there, but when Niles blinks he opens his eyes again everything is…

 

Grey.

 

It’s the most horrifying, startling thing that’s ever happened to him. When Niles began to see in color he saw it gradually. One color at a time, barely saturated, until it was a world of color and vibrancy. Now it’s gone, everything is suddenly and dramatically grey again, and he has to blink. He can barely tell things apart. Where does the sky end and the grass begin? He can’t see the greens or blues. It’s all muddled up and  _ gone _ . 

 

His heart stops when he feels a weight on his shoulder and when he turns it’s Corrin's hand. He sucks in a gasp and turns to face them. "Niles," Corrin says, "Are you alright? We can jump together if you're nervous." 

 

He’s not  _ nervous _ . He’s fucking terrified! He can’t see  _ colors _ anymore. What is that supposed to mean? They say that losing your soulmate makes your world empty forever, is that what this is? Did Leo die? Is Niles supposed to be cursed with grey colors again now that he’s only half of a whole? Is he supposed to blame Odin for being an idiot or Corrin for starting this mess? Or, maybe, himself?

 

“Fuck,” he whispers. Corrin’s eyes widen. 

 

“I beg your pardon?” 

 

If there is some kind of magic secret at the bottom of this, he needs to get there. Niles needs to be there  _ now _ . He needs to protect Leo  _ now.  _ If he’s alive and safe Niles needs to keep him that way. If he died then Niles… deserves this, honestly. So he jumps, and as the cliffs whip past him in a blur of grey, he thinks about the dirty, earthy brown they should be--and the color of Leo’s eyes.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

They’ve decided to set up camp here. It’s as safe a place as any, they have no idea where they are, and not all of the people have even arrived, yet. Xander said that from the time he arrived several hours passed before Leo did, even though it was only a matter of minutes. Time isn’t passing on the same scale here as it was in Nohr.

Leo tries his hardest to keep his mind clear. He needs to stay focused because they're in a new place with new enemies. Lady Azura is here, she’s explained everything, but Corrin has not yet arrived. Neither has Niles. Leo knows because his entire world is ruined.

It feels claustrophobic. He was never afraid of the color grey the way he is now when it's swallowed up his vision and it feels like it's choking the air out of his lungs. Odin must know what's going on because he won't wander far from Leo's side… even when he begins to put up their tents. He keeps glancing back over his shoulder, and Leo keeps poking a small fire with a stick. Not to drive the kindling, he doesn't need to. The fire was created by magic and it will burn as long as they ask it to. It’s because he can’t see the color of the flames. Orange, red, yellow,  _ heat _ , but he can’t see it. All it is are wisps of grey.

Eventually, Leo notices Odin settle beside him. In the very least, there's nothing about Odin that reminds Leo of Niles. They don't share the same eye color or hair color, they dress differently. Leo can still pretend that the colors reserved for Niles in his mind are vibrant, just not present.

“I can tell you’re not faring well, milord,” Odin says. “But your tent is ready, and I’ve prepared your favorite tea. Perhaps reading will help take this off your mind?”

Maybe. The pages in a book are always black and white, at least that won’t have changed. How is it that all this time could pass and they still aren’t here? “I wonder if he’s even coming.”

“Of course he is! Niles cares for your safety and well being above all else. He would walk through walls of fire or move mountains to be here for you.” Odin pulls his knees to himself and lays his cheek on them. “And, of course, he loves you.”

Of course, Odin would say that. He thinks it's reassuring, no doubt. Knowing that Niles loves him will somehow make Leo feel better because he knows he'll jump to his death to save him. But there's just so much more to it now, more than there used to be. "If it were me in his place, and my world faded into grey like this, I would assume my soulmate had died," Leo says. "And he has a daughter to think of, now. Yes, if it were me I would simply leave. If I've died his duties to me are over, and he would be wise to take Nina and escape before word of my death reaches my father's ears to have him executed."

“Liege Corrin has not yet arrived,” Odin reminds Leo softly. Yes, he supposes that’s true. Until Corrin arrives they have no way of knowing when Niles will, if he will. Unless this was all, in fact, a trick for Corrin to abandon their family and they also never intended to jump.

But Corrin is his sibling and Leo  _ trusts them _ , regardless of his fears right now. And his fears are for more than this stupid jump.

“It has nothing to do with Corrin,” Leo says both to himself and also to Odin. “You see, some time ago I kissed him. When I did Niles acted like it was the kiss of death, and that he never wanted to do it again.”

Odin crinkles up his nose and his brow and it would be amusing if Leo weren’t so bothered. “Milord, I… I am so certain that he loves you! This must be a misunderstanding.”

“It  _ is _ a misunderstanding.” Leo closes his eyes. “I love him too, Odin. Very dearly. I know he loves me, but he’s afraid of something. He acts like it’s my fault, that for being a prince I’m off limits, but I don’t think that’s it. I think he’s afraid to let his guard down long enough to let love back in. He’s been  _ hurt _ before. He’s scared.”

Odin nods his head. “That sounds very possible, lord Leo, but is it not your responsibility as his soulmate not to let his thoughts continue down this path?”

Leo watches the grey flames lick at the end of the stick he’s been playing with. “He’s impossible, Odin. He won’t listen to me.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Well,” Leo hesitates. If he can recall, he hardly told him anything. Just that he has feelings for Niles, and he knows Niles feels the same. He told him that Niles isn’t inflicting anything on him.

“Did you tell him what  _ you _ want?”

“Odin,” Leo says, “You know very well I didn’t. You mustn’t treat me like a child over this.”

“He’ll be here, very soon! When he arrives, milord, I think you know that you need to tell him what you want. If you break down these walls between you, then he will have nothing left to hide behind!”

“I don’t want to  _ scare him _ .”

Odin is quiet for a moment after that. He stands up and as he does he dusts off the seat of his pants. “Milord, I think I’ll go fetch your dinner. What you choose to say and do is up to you, of course, but in matters of the heart  _ please _ trust me when I say this: You don’t know what you don’t know.”

Leo drops the stick into the fire just to watch it burn. Of all the things Odin could say, that makes the least sense. Of course, he doesn't know what he doesn't know. How can that possibly relate to his situation, now? Unless this is all a roundabout way of reminding Leo that he needs to tell the truth.

…

It’s not quite like he hits the ground. Niles would surely die if he fell from that high and just  _ hit the ground _ . It’s more like the ground rises up to meet him, and he lands on it not unlike when you abruptly wake from a dream in bed. It’s just there. Startling, solid, but harmless. He sits up on his knees and rubs his head. Just a few seconds into looking around the camp he realizes something wonderful. He’s seeing in color again. It isn’t even jarring, it’s soothing. Like that time without it was a terrible nightmare, and now he’s awake from that dream.

The landscape here is ass backward. The ground is in the sky and the water is just floating wherever it wants. The only rational thing he sees is a camp not too far off. It must be  _ their  _ camp. There’s a lot of hustle and loud chatting and Niles is sure that’s his best bet to find Leo.

Or he’s sure for just long enough to get to his feet, but he’s barely standing when he sees Leo’s caped form walking right towards him. He’s alone--where is Odin?--but he’s coming from the direction of the camp. Just walking at first, but when their eyes meet and there’s an electric reminder of the colors returning he stops walking and starts running.

At first, Niles is too stunned to do anything at all, but then he takes one, two, three long steps until the force of Leo's body slamming into his chest stops him. "Leo," He repeats. Gods, this isn't the first time he's failed to use his lord's title but it's the first time it feels so completely natural. And Leo slings his arms around Niles's shoulders, tucks his face into his neck, and takes a long, deep breath. Like he's breathing him in and he's been gone for ages.

Niles takes a long, slow breath too. This is fine. Leo is safe and sound here, wrapped up in his arms where no one could possibly hurt him. No one is in danger, there’s no need to be on edge. He gently pets the back of Leo’s head a few times, but that’s when Leo pushes Niles back to an arm’s length.

“I know it must have only been a short time for you, but I’ve had several hours here without you to think about this absurd argument we’ve been having.”

Niles could argue that they haven’t been arguing, only that they’ve been dodging discussion. He doesn’t matter, because Leo squeezes his arms. “I can’t control what you want, Niles. I can give you orders, but I can’t make your heart feel one way or another. Be that as it may, I  _ know _ you share at least some of these feelings.”

“Leo,” Niles starts, but Leo shakes his head.

“Hush, give me just a few moments to speak my mind. Please.”

Niles closes his mouth again and waits. Leo looks excited, in an odd way. Like he’s about to share great news, and that’s contagious. It makes Niles feel like no matter what Leo has to say, it’s going to be wonderful. He doesn’t disappoint him either. Everything he says is wonderful.

“I love you, Niles. As my retainer of course, but as my soulmate moreover. There are things I can’t stand about you, but those things are made invisible by how much I adore seeing you at my side. When you made your choice to take Nina into your life I should have explained in more detail. If you love me as well you’re not burdening me. I want your love.” He takes a deep breath like he’s done, but then he looks at the ground between them. “This is highly irregular, a prince and his retainer, but that doesn’t mean it won’t work. Your job position can be filled if need be, but the place meant for you in my heart cannot. For you and for Nina, if you’ll let me.”

Niles isn't sure when during that confession that Leo began clinging to his cape, but the more he says the tighter that grip becomes until he's practically using it to keep Niles from running away. Or maybe just to pull him closer.

There’s too much silence. This is the part where Niles takes his turn and admits his feelings, but he’s afraid. Leo has said everything that’s been on his mind, of course. The matter of his job, his daughter, his future.

Why should he hide behind those fears, though? Leo can  _ be _ his future. Niles pulls Leo back into the hug they previously shared. Maybe Leo expected something else. A romantic kiss, and a dramatic confession. Instead, Niles just hugs him close and lays his cheek against Leo's head while he thinks about it. What is he supposed to do? This must be the way fate was meant to play out. Just because he's had a hard life doesn't mean he doesn't get to have ups to even out the downs. He's due for a few good ups. 

He turns his head to kiss Leo’s temple, and he hugs him that much tighter. “I love you,” He whispers, and Leo sags in his arms. Tension leaves them both, but in a very good way. “Forgive me for pushing you away.”

“I’ve grown fairly used to it,” Leo mumbles back. He twists in Niles’s arms until he can grip him by his chin and force his eye to meet his own. “No more. In this world, no one can hear our secrets. I'm sick of them. We'll clear them all up so we can be stronger together."

Niles can think of a few secrets. The time he spent trying to prove Garon was killing his children, for example. But he’s only more confused than ever about that, knowing that Iago was so desperate to destroy them all when they fought him at the top of the bottomless canyon.

Maybe Leo knows more of the truth than he’s been able to admit. Niles nods his head. “I don’t need to keep any secrets from you,” He promises. He closes his eyes while Leo combs his fingers through his hair. He does it so gently, drags the tips of his fingers along his scalp like he’s trying to pet him or soothe him. Is this what love is? Now that he’s come to terms with this, will he be able to indulge in Leo’s gentle touches all the time?

Niles leans down. He settles his arms around Leo’s waist in a tight embrace, still. He pins their bodies together at the hips because he doesn’t want to let him go anytime soon. Leo doesn’t seem to be interested in running away. He leans up and meets Niles’s kiss. One, two, three kisses and then Leo bites ever so gently on Niles’s lower lip. From there he mumbles, his words lost into Niles’s mouth because he can’t be bothered to pull away. “Never leave my side.”

“I would follow you into hell.”

Niles has actually lost count of their kisses by the time anything changes. They just stand there together, like they might physically melt into one body. He gets to kiss Leo in ways he’s only ever dreamed before. He tastes him, melts into him, apologizes and forgives. Everything is nothing when they’re together now. The war is gone, the world is gone. It’s just them.

And Odin. “Milord Leo! Niles! What a surprise to find you out here, making out.” Odin hides a smirk behind his fist. Niles can’t even say he noticed him wander over here. “I would never ask to interrupt this reunion, for these feelings have been a long time coming, but…”

Leo takes a dramatic step out of Niles’s arms. He folds his hands behind his back and clears his throat, but Niles can’t focus on anything except the pink of his cheeks and the way he licks his own, kiss-swollen lips. “Odin, please. If you have something to report, report it.”

“Liege Corrin has arrived. Prince Xander has requested you join him to strategize.”

Leo sways for a moment. Niles catches a glimpse of his eyes, dark and coppery in the moonlight. Then he nods his head. “Yes, of course. Odin, please show Niles to where we’ve pitched our tents, and show him where he can find his dinner.”

He turns and walks away, and Odin and Niles are left alone to watch him leave. He’s barely out of earshot when Odin throws his arms in the air in a perfect, victorious V. “You did it! I’m so  _ excited! _ Your love will be the stuff poets sing about for ages--It will be written into books as an iliad!”

“Odin,” Niles scoffs. “If you can hold your applause until we’ve finished this war? That would be great.”

Odin huffs but the two of them walk towards the camp together, with Odin babbling all the while.

 


	6. Chapter 6

There is a place that Lilith takes them that she claims is safe. Lilith, who they assumed to be dead, but she is a dragon of some sort. As is Corrin. Is there not an ordinary person among them? 

 

In this supposedly safe place, they are locked up between other worlds. Or perhaps this is a world all its own, but Niles is still grappling with understanding that. There is a handful of forts in which they have rooms or tents, dependent on space and military ranking. Some people are required or invited to share, and many people do. Niles isn’t forced.

 

Leo's sheets are silky purple and draped around Niles completely haphazardly. One of his arms are draped across the pillow above his head, the other flops lazily across his middle. He shouldn't feel so comfortable here. He should remind himself that he doesn't  _ belong _ here. He’s not good enough for Leo. He’s not safe enough for Leo. It’s unsafe for them to share a bed.

 

And yet, Leo is here. He’s settled down with his head lulled gently against Niles’s shoulder and chest. He looks comfortable, almost like he’s sleeping, but then he ever so gently reaches out and pulls Niles’s hand into his own. He doesn’t hold it so much and he fiddles with Niles’s fingers. There is a chance, underneath all of Niles’s uncertainty and natural desire to shy away from his own happiness, that Leo  _ is _ safer when Niles shares his bed. He certainly looks content.

 

“Tomorrow may be our final battle,” Leo mumbles. He’s disheveled. It’s a look that Niles rarely sees. That sort of first-thing-in-the-morning mess. Leo is usually at least slightly awake and put together when Niles meets him in the morning. This side of Leo is softer. The v of his shirt’s neckline is crooked, hanging off his shoulder. He’s not bothered with pants, simply laying in his shirt and small clothes with his knees bent up and gently knocking against one of Niles’s. 

 

But this isn’t morning. They still have a night ahead of them to sleep, if either of them can ever manage to doze off. 

 

“If a monster destroys our world, who is to stop us from hiding in this one?” Niles asks. His voice is droopier than he anticipates, and it’s followed up with a yawn. Leo continues to play with his fingers. He keeps his ear tucked gently near Niles’s heart.

 

“Lady Azura tells me that he devours them. One by one, that no matter where we hide he will always find us. I wonder how it is we are expected to fight a dragon who swallows worlds?” 

 

Niles doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if this is real. He doesn’t know if this is the key to saving the world. There’s a small part of him, a scared part of him, that wonders if this isn’t all an elaborate scheme by Corrin to trick them. They hurt Leo once already, and Niles can’t help but be on his guard.

 

He shifts his arm down so instead of being positioned behind his head, he can gently cup the back of Leo’s with his palm. He pulls him close that way so he can kiss his forehead over his bangs. “I will protect you,” he mumbles. 

 

What else can he say? He can’t promise his safety, he can’t promise their victory, but he can promise that. Until his dying breath, Niles will be certain of only one thing. He won’t let harm come to his liege.

 

“I wonder…” Leo begins. Then he hesitates. “I wonder if I was wrong to leave Nina behind.”

 

Niles misses her. It’s so absurd to admit that he misses her already, but it’s been a handful of days and he wants to see her smile. He wants to hear her chatter and babble and even wants to hear her have a temper tantrum. She made quick work of wrapping him around her little finger. “There’s no place for her in battle,” he says. There isn’t! Bringing her here would only have put her in harm’s way.

 

“Of course not,” Leo says. He sets Niles’s hand down. His next move is fluid, he rolls onto his belly and lays there on top of Niles’s chest. He’s a little heavy, but the weight is reassuring. Niles wouldn’t ask him to move for the world. Leo just lays there, arms folded under his chin, and he looks at Niles in his eye. “But in one of these  _ deep realms _ … Well if we were to die, then perhaps she would have had the chance to live her life. If there’s no way of knowing which—of thousands—of worlds this dragon will swallow next… we could have left her someplace safer.” 

 

Niles bites his own tongue. This place they’re in now, time moves faster than it should. Faster than it should in their reality, anyway. What if other realms are the same? If they left Nina there, she might live her whole life without them in the blink of an eye. But would that have been a risk Niles was willing to take? If she could lead a safe life, one where she didn’t have him… just to be certain she lived a life at all?

 

“There’s no sense in dwelling on it, now,” Niles says. He doesn’t want to know if he would have left her in the care of a fort or another planet or even a god. She’s safe and sound in Nohr and the decision has already been made. All he can do now is miss her and promise himself that he won’t let her be orphaned twice in her little life. 

 

Niles would rather think about what life will be like when they get back to her. Will it be easy? Not right away. Nohr and Hoshido may become allies, but it won't happen immediately. There will still be the need for border guards, there will still be battles, and there will always be dangers to keep Leo safe from. And Nina. Both of them, now, and Niles will have his work cut out for him. But he can still remember the sight of Leo holding her on his hip, and the way she happily played with his headpiece, and the way Leo looked at her like he was falling in love. That’s enough to prove to him that this is worth the fight and well worth the work.

 

It’s not surprising that Leo fell for her. She has that effect on people… and he  _ is _ meant to be her father. Leo is Nina’s father, and so is Niles, and that means there are a lot of details to sort out. She’s a princess of Nohr, though not technically an heir. She will be, anyway. If they’re married… or even if they aren’t, won’t she still be a princess so long as Leo rightfully calls her his daughter? Niles doesn’t care to dwell on those details yet. He cares about details like right  _ now _ . Leo pushes his fingertips casually through Niles’s hair and they catch on a tangle, but he’s gentle while he works it out. 

 

Is this what it will be like? He wants it to be like this. He wants to see this soft side of Leo every day, he wants to see him hold his daughter and read to her and guide her the way Niles knows he will. 

 

They just have to survive this, don’t they? And they will. If all of these other dreams can come true, he can make sure this one does too. 

 

…

 

“Odin!” Leo calls out to his retainer. He’s far too close to the front lines again. Leo shouldn’t be surprised because this is typical Odin behavior. He's always rushing ahead of the other mages like he thinks he belongs in front. He doesn't. Then again, he's also often covering the back of a very specific ally, and based on speculation alone Leo imagines it's hard for him not to do that. It's not that he doesn't take care of Leo, however. He swore to protect him with his life and Leo is sure in a heartbeat that he would. It’s just that he’s a dark mage and he shouldn’t be in front where he’s exposed to direct attack. It’s the most frustrating thing on this earth. “Get out of their range! Fall back!” 

 

How Odin can muster the courage to be that close to the range of these monsters is mind-boggling anyway. Leo doesn't want to be anywhere near them—he'd kindly leave the battlefield now if it were an option. But it's not an option because this dragon has warped and changed their surroundings entirely. 

 

The dragon is enormous. He’s larger than any monster that Leo could have ever even dreamed up. They’re lucky if they can even do minimal damage the dragon’s claws! It summons monsters to distract them—raises the dead back to life like it’s child’s play—and all they can do is hope that with skill, healing spells, and some luck they will survive. 

 

Mages and archers are extremely valuable in times like this, and that’s part of why Odin  _ needs _ to stay back. With a hesitant glance, he does. He retreats and the air smells thick with tension before his lightning spells crackle down on one of the invisible soldiers.

 

Leo knows he can’t blame him. It took Niles pointing it out to him, but now he knows for certain that Odin’s impulsive rushing ahead was rarely ignorance, but an instinct to protect his own soulmate. Leo has felt the same way. He can recall when he first met Niles and many times since that his overwhelming need to  _ save him _ kept him from making the more rational choices. 

 

But in this battle, when it comes down to the end of the  _ world,  _ they need to be level-headed and strategic. Odin knows that, Leo knows that, even Niles must know it. They need mages in the  _ back _ so that they can cast their spells at their true foe, and the soldiers at the front lines can focus on the reanimated soldiers. They need tactics, they need a plan, and they need to be absolutely focused. One wrong move could cost a life. 

 

The dragon is ultimately more frightening that Leo expected.Now and then, always just spontaneous enough to startle Leo, the beast will scream. Anankos. The forgotten god, the betrayed king, the buried dragon. When he yells like that it shakes the very earth under their feet, and frankly, there's not much of that left to crumble away. And then he shouts something new, just when Leo dares to hope they’re getting the swing of this strategy.

 

**_“If you look with the ocean, the stars, or the sky, your power is mine; fight for me or die.”_ **

 

“What?” Leo asks in such a whisper it can’t possibly be heard. It’s almost like a verse from a song. Azura’s magic is based on a song. Could this be similar? A sing-songy spell? Odin falls into place flanking one of his sides. In only a heartbeat Niles is at his other, and both of them are looking around anxiously. A hush falls over the whole army while they all try to piece together the meaning of that verse. It’s an agitated, uncomfortable silence. They wait, nerves frayed and weapons ready. Will this summon more monsters? Perhaps this was a desperate diversion. If so, it worked, but Anankos seems to have forgotten to take advantage of that.

 

Then it happens. The next sound Leo hears is Elise screaming. He whips his head around in the direction of his younger sister just in time to see her tumble off her horse and into Effie’s ready arms. The attacker is the startling part. The attacker is  _ Arthur _ . “What?” Leo repeats in a gasp. Arthur would  _ never _ . The man wouldn’t hurt an undeserving fly. The sound of Xander’s grunt and his sword clashing catches his attention. He looks up to see Charlotte bringing her axe down on him, attacking her own prince. Xander throws her back with the dull side of his sword, but there’s something of a dead look in her eyes. It’s like she’s not there at all. She just mindlessly swings her axe again.

 

“He’s taking our  _ soldiers _ ,” Leo realizes on the exhale. He’s turning their own against them, but they don’t appear to be  _ dead _ . Harming them would mean hurting their friends. They need to take a few minutes to think about an alternative solution. Surely there’s something they can do. But time to think is a luxury they simply don’t have. Leo gasps again when a blast of cool air whizzes past him. An entire wall of ice, a spell that he wasn’t even aware Felicia knew how to weave, knocks nearby soldiers off their feet. That makes three; Arthur, Charlotte, Felicia… but how is this spell choosing its targets?

 

“Be on your guard,” Leo says. 

 

“Yes, milord,” Odin replies, warily. 

 

“Don’t hurt them,” Leo goes on to say. He turns to Niles. They need to come up with a plan. Something that will fix this. All spells have a cost. Nothing is free, not even for a god. Be it his undivided attention, a piece of his life force, or a set length of his time, this spell can’t last forever. “Niles,” he says as he does. “It’s possible that this sort of spell requires… Niles?” 

 

He’s looking at Leo like he’s looking through him. His eye is cloudy and glazed. It’s empty. He’s not there, but there’s a lovely, pale blue color in place of even his pupil. The same, beautiful blue that Leo has learned to love so much. He almost thinks he can see constellations twinkling in it before he realizes the meaning of that curse. 

 

_ Color.  _ It has to be that, doesn’t it? The ocean, the sky, the brightest stars at night. They’re  _ blue. _ If you look with  _ blue _ , you’ve fallen captive to his curse. 

 

“Stop! You’re not yourself, stop this at once!” Hinoka squawks from across the battlefield at her retainer. Setsuna notches an arrow in her bow anyway, prepared to shoot down her own liege. The situation is becoming direr by the second. He turns his attention back to Niles. 

 

It’s unnerving, the way that Niles stares him down. He’s not moving. His lips are set into a tight line. He’s so still it’s hard to tell if he’s even breathing. Leo swallows a lump forming in his throat. “Odin,” He whispers warily. “Blue eyes. It’s the people with blue eyes.” 

 

Niles gazes right through Leo. It’s beginning to alarm him. He’s under a spell, shouldn’t he be  _ attacking _ ? He’s waiting. Leo reaches out his hand and nearly lays his gloved fingers on his cheek… but then Odin steps around to the other side of Leo’s steed. As soon as he’s in Niles’s field of vision Niles _ bolts _ . He pulls a knife from his thigh belt and swings it at Odin so fast Leo nearly misses it. Odin dodges back with shock written on his face, but at least it answers the question. Niles  _ is _ like the rest of them. The color of his eye is part of a spell, and he’s meant to fight against his allies because of it. So why wouldn’t he attack Leo? 

 

Odin yelps and catches Niles’s wrist just before he can bring his knife down. Leo startles out of his thoughts. There’s no time to dawdle. They can’t  _ fight _ him. If this is a curse of mind control then fighting Niles will hurt him, and they don’t want that. Leo doesn’t want that. He can’t even bear to imagine it. He doesn’t want to watch Niles hurt Odin either, though, and so Leo impulsively whispers a spell. The ground shakes beneath them and wooden vines sprout from the dirt and wrap around Niles’s ankles and wrists. There’s a creaking sound as they twist and pull him this way and that until he’s lifted from the ground and completely trapped in their grasp.

 

It’s not a moment too soon. Odin stumbles back a few steps and sighs in relief. “Excellent work, milord! He’s effectively restrained.” 

 

“For now. He’s strong, and…” 

 

**_“If you are too weak to fight them, then I will use your power to fight them myself!”_ **

 

Leo covers his ears mid-thought. He can’t hear himself think over the shrill roar of this damned dragon. Every word he says vibrates in a way that makes his heart feel like it’s beating twice as hard. He squeezes his eyes shut through another scream. When it finally stops he opens his eyes and all of the people who turned against them simply  _ vanish _ in a blip of light. Charlotte, Benny, Felicia, Setsuna, Arthur…  _ Niles _ . 

 

“Niles,” Leo blurts. Suddenly it’s like he can’t breathe. He isn’t sure what he expected. He stares at the empty vines where his soulmate was moments ago. He needed to  _ keep _ him there where he could watch him. He was safe from the battle there, safe from hurting himself or others. Where has he gone? Where have any of them gone? “N-Niles!”

 

The fear he feels in that moment is something like being smothered. It’s like he can’t even breathe. It’s like when the world was grey.

 

“Milord,” Odin whispers urgently. He grips Leo’s shoulders just close enough to his neck that his thumbs brush below his armor and over his clothed skin. It startles Leo enough to get his attention. Odin looks just as startled as he is. “The end is nearly upon us! Stay strong.” 

 

Stay strong. 

 

Leo looks at the empty vines again. Niles is fine. He must be because everything here is coated in color. He sighs nervously through his nose and waves his hand to clear the vines away.

 

They have the battle to finish.

 

…

 

“We can’t just leave,” Corrin says. Leo agrees with them on this. They can’t just leave now and assume their allies are lost forever. Most of their allies are calm and quiet. They’re injured, tired… and ready to go home.

 

Azura is the one debating them on it. She has some support, of course. Her argument is sound, but Leo doesn’t want to hear rational words right now. “With Anankos defeated, there’s no force left here to hold Valla together. The entire kingdom will collapse on itself, but it doesn’t have to be forgotten.” 

 

Corrin folds their arms. “Azura, you  _ have my word _ that Valla won’t be forgotten. We’ll find a way to honor it, maybe even revive it, but that has  _ nothing _ to do with this.” 

 

Azura wrings her hands together. “I understand Corrin. Our losses are grave, but there’s nothing we can do about the dead.”

 

“They’re not dead!” Leo interjects. Odin glances at him and then looks away. Xander settles with his hands folded behind the small of his back.

 

“We don’t know that,” Corrin admits, “But he’s right. They  _ might _ be alive.” 

 

“Niles  _ is _ alive,” Leo argues again. He sucks in a breath. He could tell them. Would it matter? Everyone here… they’ve lived through a very particular brand of hell. None of them would even bat an eye that a legend about seeing in colors is real. It may be the only reason they have to stay. “I can still see the colors. If Niles were dead they would be gone.” 

 

There’s a bit of a hush. Odin pushes an uncomfortable stream of air out through his cheeks. Leo’s chest draws tight. No one is  _ speaking _ . To break the silence, he just continues. “Niles isn’t dead, and that means the others likely aren’t either. That spell could have just as easily transported them someplace.” 

 

“Leo is right!” Elise finally shouts. She runs over and tucks herself against Leo’s side, but it startles him. He’s not expecting to be touched, but he doesn’t push her away either. “Arthur could still be down here, and he needs us! And Charlotte! Everyone knows how much Xander likes her, they’re practically married!” 

 

“Elise,” Xander frowns at her, but it melts into something sadder.

 

“This world is on the edge of collapsing in on itself,” Azura whispers. “We have no way of knowing where they went. I want to help them as much as you do, but should we risk the lives of a hundred to save a few?” 

 

“Just because they’re alive doesn’t mean they’re not dead,” Takumi adds. “I want to find them as much as the next guy, but he said he was taking their power for himself. He probably just left their bodies with enough life in them to use them as puppets, like he did with… Well, he did it.” He tried to do it to many of them. He succeeded in doing it to their allies, even their families. The king of Nohr, the queen of Hoshido, Scarlet… they all suffered that fate. 

 

“It’s worth trying to find them,” Corrin pleads. “At least for a little while. If we don’t find them we can always… Move on. No one has to stay here in this place when it’s destroyed.” 

 

Leo’s hand clenches. Moving on isn’t an option. Niles isn’t dead. This would all be different if the color was sucked away from him. If he was living in a puddle of muddy greys he wouldn’t have to feel this way. He could be mourning. But right now Leo isn’t mourning, he’s desperate. If they leave and Niles isn’t with him, he’s sentencing his retainer to death.

 

With that agreement, the people so eager to leave do relent. Those who lost friends or family or lovers… they’re more powerful in that moment. They’re driven to find them, perhaps by fear and hope alone. They’re inspired to search under every rock, behind every cliff side until they find their missing allies. 

 

The only problem is they  _ don’t _ . Hours pass into nighttime, and night passes into another day. The land starts to collapse around them. The earth starts dissolving under their feet. An entire row of tents is swallowed up by a quake that shreds the ground beneath them, and they’re lucky to have made it out alive.

 

Eventually, even Elise pulls at Leo's hand and tells him that it's time to let go. Leo swallows any arguments on the subject. Everyone has lost someone dear to them, but this feels like giving up when he’s so close to the answer.

 

Leo knows Niles isn’t dead. He can’t shake that, he can’t pretend he’s losing him by anything but his own free will. Elise is right, though. Corrin and Azura are right. They simply can’t afford to stay--the risk is too high. Leo considers the option of staying behind and continuing to search on his own, but…  _ Someone  _ needs to go home to Nina.

 

Leo should be relieved to be home, but when he takes his first steps onto Nohrian soil and leaves Valla behind for good, the colors go dark.

 

…

 

“HnnngHHHHH!" Charlotte screeches. She swings her axe hard against a stone wall, but there's nothing. It doesn't give, it doesn't break, it just bounces off in a way that certainly hurts her. Niles folds his arms and leans against the cave wall. It's cool, slightly damp, and smooth to the touch. The only reason they can see anything at all in this cave is that there are odd mushrooms that glow an eerie green color and put off enough light to make out shapes and some faces when they're close. 

 

“There’s no point,” Benny grumbles. Niles watches him saunter over and snatch the axe out of Charlotte’s hands. She rubs her own wrists to ease the pain from that recoil and they both watch him drop the axe on the cave floor a few steps away. “There’s no way out. They’re all probably gone by now anyway.” 

 

“I don’t know…” Setsuna says in that voice that makes Niles want to claw his only eye out. She just drawls on forever. Can’t she talk any  _ faster? _ “They might be looking for us… Lady Hinoka would want to look for us…” 

 

“Milady Elise as well!” Arthur says entirely too optimistically. 

 

Niles is sure they would want to look. He's sure that all of them would try to find their friends or lovers, but he's also sure that it's been days now and they've probably given up. Well, not probably. Niles knows the exact moment that Leo gave up searching for him because the colors faded and seeing in this blasted cave became even more difficult than it already was. 

 

He’s not upset. Well, not really. He’s hopeful. He wants to believe that the colors faded because Leo felt this world swallowing itself whole and went home to safety. The only other reason the colors would fade is too painful to think about.

 

There’s a part of him who knows that Leo left because he’s wise. He’s the smartest man Niles has ever met, ever will meet. He’s wonderful and cautious and brave and he went  _ home. _ Maybe when he gets there he’ll take Nina in and raise her to be a smart, beautiful, brave princess too. 

 

"Niles?" Felicia asks softly. She's been standing nearby for a while, now. He's been lost in thought. How long can they survive in this cave before they starve to death? The supplies they had on them isn't enough. The mushrooms… well, anything that glows like that surely isn't edible. The cave surrounding them is rounded. A small cavern with nothing but a small lake of still water in it. It's a cage. Oh, but he's lost in thought again. He glances at Felicia. She blinks and whispers, "Do you have any rope?" 

 

“I,” He pats himself down and feels for the thin rope he usually keeps wound by his hip. It’s there. “Wh—Why?” 

 

Felicia looks from him to the chilly cave water. He follows her eyes and frowns. “You see,” She says, “If there is water here, it must be coming in from somewhere… don’t you think? Maybe a crack… but maybe an entire tunnel.” 

 

He looks at the water again. Maybe he just assumed it was some kind of basin, that the water came from someplace else, but her idea is as good as any. “You think if someone swims down there they may find an exit.” 

 

“If I tie the rope around myself, someone can pull me back if I don’t make it… and if I do make it…” 

 

“If you do make it we can follow the rope to the other side,” Niles hums. “But if you don’t find anything you’ll just freeze to death, whether or not we pull you back.” 

 

“The cold won’t bother me,” Felicia argues. “But don’t let me drown!” 

 

Their conversation has gathered the attention of the others. Niles looks from Felicia to the rest of them, and he sighs. This is the best shot they have, right? “Let me do it,” He says. “I’m a strong swimmer. It might be cold, but at least if it’s me drowning we still have someone here who can use that staff.” 

 

They have Felicia’s healing staff with them. It’s too advanced of a spell for Niles. They used it to clear away some injuries before, and they’ll need to use it again to make sure whoever dives down there doesn’t freeze to death—ice tribe or not. 

 

Felicia doesn’t argue. No one does. So Niles unwinds his rope and ties one end of it to the belt of his pants. He puts the rest of it into Benny’s hands. “If I tug twice… pull me back. Got it?” To demonstrate, he gives two sharp yanks on the rope. Benny nods his head. 

 

“Take this,” Arthur says. He plucks one of the glowing mushrooms off the wall and puts it into Niles’s hand. “So you can see.” 

 

Great. Niles sets it down just long enough to unclip his cape and tug his shirt and boots off. Then he looks at the black water and takes in a deep, slow breath. 

 

_ Ice _ . 

 

It's like swimming in a bucket of ice. It's far colder than he expected it to be and it stings his eye when he opens it. The mushroom does put off a glow under the water—surprising because Niles thought for sure that being both plucked and soaked would ruin that. It's not much of a glow, though. There's nothing but blackness all around him, and for a moment panic sets in because he doesn't even know which way is up. 

 

It doesn’t matter. The rope is still floating up towards the surface. He has to move fast, he only gets that one lungful of air. 

 

His first instinct is to swim  _ down _ . Then he bumps his head against the cave wall on the opposite end of the pool unexpectedly. He lets go of his breath and fights against all odds not to gasp a lungful of water back in its place. 

 

He runs his hands down the wall, fumbling for anything at all. A crack, a hole, anything. He  _ finds _ a rock.

 

That damn mushroom isn’t glowing as bright as it once was. Or maybe it is, but the lack of oxygen is making the corners of his vision dark. What he can see is that this rock has holes on either side of it. Small enough that he can barely get his hands through, but the rock itself… well if it’s the only thing between them and the other side of this cavern, he thinks even Benny would be able to swim through that tunnel. The problem is it’s too heavy to move on his own. 

 

His lungs burn. Everything aches, his chest is throbbing, his head feels light. He doesn’t have much  _ time _ . So Niles fumbles to untie the knot he so diligently tied around his belt and he hugs his arms around the blasted rock until he can slip the rope around it. He ties it in a knot around itself… and then once it’s as secure as it’s going to get, he tugs twice on the rope.  _ Hard _ . 

 

As for himself… well, he doesn't have the luxury of waiting to be pulled up. It's a risk he just has to take, but he decides to push himself up. He lets go of the mushroom, it’s just interfering with his ability to swim anyway… and he hopes he’s swimming in the right direction. 

 

Niles breaks the surface of the water long before the rock does. The rope is still tight with the tension. Benny and Arthur and Charlotte combined are pulling on it. Niles doesn’t have much time to wonder if they’re making any progress.

 

“He’s there!” Felicia calls. She rushes to the edge of the water and so does Setsuna, and each of them grips one of his arms and hoists him up onto the cave shore. 

 

“What? Then what are we wasting our time on?” Charlotte asks. Niles waves his hand at her, too busy choking on air to answer. Benny elbows her in the shoulder. 

 

“Come on, we’re getting it!” He grunts at her. She huffs and picks up the rope to resume pulling. Felicia stays there with Niles to look him over, but Setsuna stands up and tries to offer some help in this losing battle of tug-of-war too. 

 

Then it gives. The rock must lurch. Or maybe the rope just snapped. Either way, Niles stares at it and coughs into his hand. "S's cave down there," He says. "Rock's blocking it." 

 

Well, hopefully not anymore. Charlotte takes an agitated glance at Niles, and then at the side of the cave. She pulls at the leather straps of her armor until it comes loose and she’s just left in her clothes. She hastily grabs one of the mushrooms and then she dives into the water. She doesn’t come back. 

 

Felicia’s frown is tight, but Niles thinks it must be a good sign. “Don’t wear any armor,” he warns them. Charlotte was right to leave hers. It’s too heavy. They can’t take their weapons either, which puts them in a precarious position should they be attacked on the other side. 

 

The benefit of not dying in this cave seems to outweigh any risk at all. One by one everyone sheds what they don’t need. Felicia even (hesitantly) leaves behind her dress and dives in with just her underclothes, a knife strapped to her thigh, and the healing rod. It puts off its own glow to guide her. 

 

Niles is the last, and he looks back at the cavern one last time. If they die on the other side, at least they didn’t die here. 

 

┍━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━┑

Epilogue 

┕━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━┙

 

The days that come are empty for Leo at first. He has Nina in his arms again, but he’s missing Niles. He misses the coppery color of her skin and he misses her big, bright eyes. Now it’s all a swamp of grey, but he loves her all the same. He thinks he loves her, anyway. He’s taken her in, there’s no doubt about that. 

 

He's moved her into his suite. He's made many changes to it, in just a short time. Perhaps hard work is a distraction for him. He moves his study, empties it out. The books are packed away and moved to the library. The more important books are moved to the secret study behind the fake wall. He moves his desk into a corner of his bedroom, moves his bed to another wall, moves in a small lounge and tea table where he can sit and read with Nina. 

 

His study becomes her room. It’s done over with new furniture, some stuffed rabbits and cats, and a closet of new clothes just for her. She toddles around that room as best as she can, gripping onto the crib or the rocking chair to wobble on her unsteady legs. Leo missed her first steps, but he happily puts a soft rug in her new room so that while she practices walking she has a cushioned place to fall. 

 

It's all a distraction from nausea that sits low in his stomach day in and day out. The knowledge that he left Valla behind knowing that Niles was still there, and knowing he would die there without help. Day in and day out Odin reminds him that they had no choice. He helps him with all of these renovations, he steps up as his right-hand retainer, and he doesn't miss a beat. Jobs that were normally divided between Niles and himself don't go missing. Odin is there every morning with tea and juice. He finds Leo clothes to wear, makes sure that they're just right and not inside out, and he even helps with Nina when Leo asks. 

 

But it’s not the same, and once all of the work is finished and there are no more distractions… Leo finds that every time Nina falls asleep at night, and he’s alone in his own bed, he wants to cry… but there’s nothing left to cry over. 

 

It’s just a part of mourning, he supposes. 

 

Odin’s life is changing too. It seems that everyone’s is. Leo’s brother is becoming king, Corrin is establishing a new country, friends are finally celebrating again. Nohr is being reborn.  _ Odin’s _ life has the most immediate impact on Leo’s, however.  He’s moving away from the castle, but he’s maintained his duties without flaw. 

 

He’s moving in with his soulmate, and he’s getting married. He claims he already was married, but he wants to do it again to show all of Nohr the power of his love. Leo thinks it’s sweet. He hopes to be a part of that celebration. 

 

What he’s less thrilled about is being part of the dog-sitting committee. “Odin,” Leo rolls his eyes. Odin’s new dog bounds around the front room of Leo’s quarters. It’s a little more than a puppy, but it’s  _ huge.  _ Just shy of Leo’s knees, and he has to stop mid-thought to scoop Nina up before she’s trampled by him. He huffs and holds her on his hip. “Odin, don’t you think that it would have been more reasonable to adopt your pet after you were through moving?” 

 

“Certainly! But fate works in mysterious ways,” Odin says. “Please, milord! I only need your assistance watching him for a few short hours, and then,” He stops talking. 

 

No doubt because he’s staring at Leo, and certainly because Leo’s mouth has fallen open into a small ‘o.’ It’s just that when he closes his eyes to blink, he opens them again and Odin’s hair is yellow. Soft, pale yellow. And his eyes are green, with his brows pinched together with worry. His cheeks are peachy and pink, his freckles are splattered out in all shades of peachy brown on his face. 

 

He turns his head and looks down at Nina. Her dress is pink, and her bloomers around her diaper are orange. They don’t match at all, but Leo supposes that’s what her fate is destined to be so long as Leo is the one dressing her. The ruffles are white, her ribbon in her hair is purple. 

 

“Milord?” Odin asks. Horns blast through the silence. They’re from the gates, and Leo knows they signify danger. He knows they mean something is happening, but he also knows it can't  _ possibly _ be a danger. 

 

“It’s Niles,” Leo says just as Odin seems ready to prepare for battle. It’s Niles, and Leo doesn’t have any time to waste watching Odin’s dog. He’s already on his way out the door. 

 

…

 

Lilith found them. Niles thinks they need to thank some kind of god for that, but it's been so long since a god has watched over Nohr he's not even sure who to turn to. When they made it out of that cave they were freezing and the earth was shattering beneath their feet. Lilith opened a gate back to the astral plane, and she kept them there while an entire world ended… and then she spat them back out in their respective homes. Well, sort of. 

 

Niles doesn’t know where it is that Charlotte or Benny went, but he and Arthur and Felicia are here at the gates of the castle. And there are alarms sounding because they just poofed into existence. What Niles doesn’t know is how much time has passed. Being in Valla, being in the deep realms, being anywhere but here… 

 

It’s been a long time since he’s seen Leo, but he hopes not so long that Leo has moved on entirely. Or is it even possible to move on from someone you love and cherish so much? Sharing a part of your soul with someone is more than it seems. 

 

A small unit of castle soldiers greets them at the gate. Some of them are faces he recognizes. They’re no one special, just guards to make sure they’re not going to kill anyone, that they’re not monsters in disguise. They’re not, though. 

 

Niles is perfectly happy with taking his time. He’d be a fool to rush through these guards and try to get inside. He’s content to wait until they deem it safe—but then towards the other end of that long, terrifying bridge that leads to the castle’s front doors… Leo steps outside. 

 

Not in armor, not prepared for battle, but with their daughter on his hip. Odin is at his side, only marginally more prepared with a tome in his hand just in case. Odin protecting their liege is a welcome sight, but Leo standing there with their daughter is far more important. 

 

When their eyes meet across the way like that, the entire world changes. It’s not as if his heart stops beating in his chest, though Niles does feel momentarily  _ breathless. _ The color came back to him the moment Lilith dropped them here, but seeing Leo there, in perfect, beautiful color… It’s like his entire world comes crashing to a stop.

 

He would like to say that he broke through the lines of guards to run to his lover, but that isn't what happens. Niles stands there waiting while Leo takes long strides and pushes his way through the guards himself. He walks with such purpose. It's like he doesn't care about any of the reasonable fears. Like he isn't afraid that this could be a trap and like he doesn't care what the guards think or do. 

 

All that matters at that moment is the way that Leo looks at him when he stops. With his head tilted up just slightly to look into Niles’s eye, with a mixture of mourning and happiness on his face. Well, that and the way he reaches out with the arm not occupied by Nina. His fingers push delicately past the skin of Niles's cheek and gently into his hair… where he balls up a fist of it and tugs Niles down until their lips crash together like the world might end if they don't kiss  _ right now.  _

 

The world moves on around them. Felicia and Arthur are reunited with their friends as well. Xander arrives at the gate looking for answers. Odin gives them plenty of space, for once. And then, eventually, the urgency of the kiss fades into something softer. Leo lets go of his grip on Niles’s hair. Niles gently raises up his hand to rub Nina’s back while she babbles at them in a language all her own. 

 

“Leo,”

 

“You’re fired right now,” Leo smiles the brightest smile at Niles. It’s like the sun lighting up the sky in a million shades of pink, it’s like the stars hanging in the moonlight. It’s the most beautiful thing Niles has ever seen in his life, and he can’t help smiling in return. “And you’re never to leave my side again, do you understand?” 

 

“Leo—” 

 

“You won’t even need your room anymore, there’s space now for you with me and Nina, and—!” 

 

“Leo!” Niles chuckles. Leo keeps smiling, but it turns calm and reserved. 

 

“Yes, go on, then.” 

 

“I missed you, too,” Niles hums. He leans down just so that he can kiss Leo’s head… and for good measure, Nina’s as well. “Though I won’t give up my job without a fight.” 

 

Leo rolls his eyes and turns to begin walking back towards the castle’s doors. Niles follows him, with his only hesitation to reach out and pull Nina into his arms. She settles with her head on his shoulder and her hands busy pulling his shirt into her mouth. 

 

“There’s not really room for debate,” Leo folds his arms behind his back while he walks. “Now hush. You don’t get a say in the matter. If you did then it wouldn’t be a punishment, would it?” 

 

Just before they reach the door, Leo stops to face Niles again. Niles feels like he’s lived this conversation before, but it went just  _ slightly _ differently. “This is hardly a punishment.” 

 

"Oh? Well, allow me to make one thing  _ perfectly _ clear, Niles.” He reaches up and trails his fingers along Niles’s jaw, a touch so loving it’s nearly enough to melt a man on the spot. “I’m going to make certain the entire  _ world _ knows how much I cherish you.” 

 

Niles looks down at their hands. He slips his fingers through Leo’s and lets him guide him up the stairs and down the familiar halls that lead to his chambers. 

 

They've come a long way, since the day they met. Once upon a time, Niles had no name, no family, and no reason to live. Leo has changed all of that. Like one of the books Leo read to him on the rainy nights, or like the stories of soulmates Niles wrote off as lies as a child… This is their happily ever after. 

 

But it’s only the beginning, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS DONE i'm so sorry it took an entire ass year to write you this fic but I didn't want to write the ending when I wasn't feeling well bc I wanted to deliver something good. I hope you all really truly love this fic bc it's my first leoniles baby and I sure do.


End file.
